I remember earlier this summer I posted the picture above of my hair on Facebook, and a guy friend of mine commented and asked if I was auditioning for The Lion King, while a couple of others asked why I was trying to look "nappy." First off, I don't like the word nappy; I know some people use it as a positive but that's not how they meant it; secondly the Lion King comment was all kinds of messed up because we clearly still equate anything "African" with "unruly" and bad. I pretty much dusted my shoulders after those comments though; to put it plainly, I gave zero craps about their opinions, but I wasn't always like this. Before, I viewed my hair as something terrible and had accepted it as such which was a defense mechanism. It was so that no one's words could effect me because I had already thought the same thing they did. Now I'm way more confident about my hair and continue to flaunt it however I see fit.
It also makes me think about the backlash Solange has gotten over how she wears her hair; even naturals were jumping on her case about how she needed to do a twist-out instead of wearing her hair the way she wanted! So my question to you guys is, how do you handle the negative comments about your hair? Do you address them or do you sometimes feel bad about it? Let us know!
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When I finally went through with my chop, it was the day after my mother had made me sob- telling me that "whatever was pushing me, I should just know, it won't be fine". Imagine. My own mother was telling me I'd be ugly, lol or un-fine.
ReplyDeleteI didn't hold onto any grudges- for she's my mom who loves me and could go through hell for me- I realised, she couldn't understand it, and that's on her. And on everybody else who thinks it's a bad thing to not suppress your kinks.
I don't get mad, I can only feel sorry that people could be so "limited" but one day, I'm def going to give someone an earful, for being rude about my hair, just for the sake of it.
-E.
Thanks so much for sharing this. Good to hear that you are able to handle it!
DeleteTHIS HERE IS ONE THE MOST REMARKABLE INFO I'VE EVER READ REGARDING SO CALLED NAPPY HAIR
ReplyDeleteREAD PARAGRAPH 7, 8, AND 10. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER, IT DOES MAKE SENSE. IT POINTS US BACK
OUR CREATOR.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ivlkw3bBq-QGyJHGGwA4BkY6lAbvCuelMgfRqmBCnYc/edit?pli=1
I can count on one hand the number of outright negative comments I've gotten...I remember once years ago a black dude yelled "Nappy" at me as he was passing by. I have gotten a few weird looks and backhanded negativity though. In both instances, my reaction was just to roll my eyes and pity the perpetrators for their inability to appreciate true beauty when it was staring them right in the face. I used to feel bad about it when I was in the early stages of my "journey" and loathed my 4b textured hair but now I just let it roll of my back. For me, learning to love and adore afro hair in all its incarnations has made me stop caring about naysayers; natural hair is so damn unique and beautiful that anyone who says otherwise is being ridiculous in my view. It's like trying to tell me that a sunset is not gorgeous...it's not a question, it just IS. :)
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