Hair and the Menz

I'm trying to remember when in my life I realized that hair was an important attribute to getting the attention of males. I remember my hair always receiving a lot of attention in both aggressive and curious ways (is all that real? you don't have a perm?) and I remember the first boy I actually "dated"always wanted to see my hair out and loose but that's about as far as it went. But I always knew who got the boys attention and who didn't; the girls who had long hair straight hair, or with the "acceptable" curls, whether it was truly their texture or not. Even though guys (both friends and interests) have told me my hair was cool and they liked how different it was, it usually came from those who weren't Black. If it did  I was considered the "exception." Like, usually I prefer straight hair but yours is nice (oh, cuz you're doing me a huge favor, *shrugs*)

I'm in a long-term relationship now (4 years) with Mr. Smooth who is Puerto Rican. I hardly consider that inter-racial but I suppose it depends on who you ask. Anyway I do remember wondering if my hair was pretty to him, considering the women in his family had a very different texture than mine. They seemed to have more manageable hair. I was so self-concious about it actually that I admitted to him that he may find lighter skinned, straighter haired women more attractive. (and oddly he in turn thought I'd find a darker skinned male more attractive, just self-esteem issues I guess.) He told me he loved my hair the way it was, and when I almost relaxed it (because I thought my hair was ugly, not because I wanted to try something new!) he convinced me not to. I thought things like that didn't matter to him and I think in the end it doesn't, but it did make me realize that he loved me for who I what I looked like and why on earth couldn't I?

I've only had natural hair so I don't know how it must be for transitioners or those who are newly natural. But I do believe that if you don't like your hair (or yourself for that matter), then how can you expect someone else to? I know I've heard of some stubborn spouses, and you better believe Mr. Smooth doesn't always like the way I style my hair. I prefer a little messiness and he likes things to look neat. I do ask him whether he likes a particular style and unless he can pin point something specific about what he doesn't like, I keep it moving! I do know that I can never go wrong with twists, it's his favorite style. That's about as much people-pleasing I do with that.

Hair enthusiasts, chime in: How does your significant other view your hair?

Comments & Compliments

Natural hair in this day and age is definitely becoming more and more accepted again, but also very controversial. Ive seen and heard so many things about natural hair, and was just thinking of some of the compliments and comments i myself have received. I figured I'd share some with you =D

Best Compliments so far:

Wow, it's so soft. Lol
They all expect Brillo for some reason... hmm...



I walked into an Asian owned bodega and an older Asian man who had to be in at least his 50's goes:
What beautiful hair you have! wow!
I felt so flattered because i was just sporting my little curly TWA and i was especially surprised the compliment came from him.


I want your hair!
From a cute older Spanish woman who's hair actually almost looked like mine except she had a looser curl. How adorable was she!


One day I'm riding the train and i see this young white guy and he's obviously staring at me. I'm trying to avoid him at this point but i can feel him staring and as i get up to exit the train he says: I love your hair, your whole look, everything... and smiles. I said thank you and i felt so good  as i exited the train. I was just glowing all day.


I call the building i live in "The Retirement Home" because so many old people live here but its funny how all the older white people love my natural hair, and have even reached out and touched it on many occasions, telling me it's beautiful and asking me how i got it to stand up like that, lol.


And of course i love every sweet thing my boyfriend says about my hair. He's so sweet and loves playing in it. He always tells me its growing and gets mad at me when i trim it... i have to reassure him it's a good thing, lol. He makes me feel so beautiful everyday and i love the fact that he prefers me with my natural hair over weaves and relaxers. He is definitely one of the reasons why i love my natural hair.


I guess this was a compliment....

So one night while at a bar with one of my girlfriends earlier in the summer, two guys approached us and  bought us drinks. We had cordial conversation as thanks for the drinks, although it was obvious we weren't interested in them. Long story short, the guy who was talking to me thought it was okay to touch my hair during convo, out of the blue, without even asking!!! Of course i flipped on him, moving farther away as quickly as i could and definitely letting him know that what he had done was not okay.
He apologized, saying that he was just so compelled to touch it because it looked so nice and he wondered how i got it that way, also noting that he thought i was unique because not many sistas wear their natural hair. 

Looking back, that was obviously a compliment but at the same time i had to let a brotha know that you can't just be touchin' a sistas Do' like that! lol



I'm going to skip out on talking about the negative because we all see and hear that often enough =)
Its feels so good to know people out there love curly and afro haired women with their natural hair, as more and more curly/afro haired women are starting to love themselves.

Random: I fell in love with my hair all over again!!!

So yesterday, i wore my hair in a wash and go because i didn't really have time for styling it. All i did was co-wash in the shower, proceeding to shake the water out my hair after i got out. I wrapped my microfiber towel around my head while drying off, then removed the towel and added my Care Free Curl Instant Moisturizer, mixed with some CHI Silk Infusion  and Vitamin E oil. I later added a little Shea Moisture's Curl and Hold Smoothie when it was almost dry, to help keep a little more curl and less frizz.

Being so busy yesterday, i know it was gettning all frizzy in the car with me leaning on the headrest. I did have my hands in my hair a little bit so i know that wasn't helping either, but when i got home and looked in the mirror at my frizzy, curly head, i was so in love. My hair is growing so much and i can really see the beautiful curls now with more length to them. They're cute and springy and bouncy and as much as i can't wait to have long hair, looking at my little curls also reminded me to appreciate what i have.

I love her majesty!

My green is so faded! About to go re-do that right now! =D

These Braids (1 Week Later)

I put my hair in box braids a week ago and here's how they're looking:

braids look "looser" My hair almost always unravels!

Hairs are getting fuzzy

Shrinkage!

I didn't wash my scalp yet and so far things are okay. I have some minor itching, but I've found that massaging coconut oil into my scalp helps sooth it. There aren't any flakes so far so that's good. I'm going to leave these in for another week, but I'm trying to decide a couple of things: whether I should co-wash them for an extra boost of moisture and if I should leave them in for a 3rd week. I'm thinking of co-washing because while I've been spritzing my hair I'm not sure it's enough to maintain the "silky" texture of my hair (my hair doesn't appear "naturally dry" in my opinion) Also, I'm wondering if I should leave them in for a 3rd week because I'm getting the itch to try something new but at the same time, I know this is a great protective style. Decisions, decisions. What do you think, hair enthusiasts?

Young Girls and Their Hair

Yesterday at work, I had to handle a little 4th grader called "A" crying because of her hair. The kids were about to start their cooking activity when I noticed the girls clamoring over A, who was literally holding down her loose caramel-colored strands and crying about how she was going to get in trouble because her braids had unraveled. I'll braid it! the girls were yelling at her. At first I was going to let them deal with it, but she was becoming increasingly upset and they were the same girls I have notice that tease her and leave her out of things as she struggles to fit in.  So I took her to the side to try and calm her down.

What's the matter? I asked.

My hair came out of the braids and my mother is going to be upset! A cried. I just hate my hair! I hate it! 

It's okay, I said. Do you want me to re-braid it?

She said yes, so I took her to the bathroom so she could see in herself in the mirror. While braiding I asked her about why she hated her hair. She started telling me how she wanted hair like M (the same young lady who has been begging me to straighten my hair so I can look "pretty.") and that everyone teases her about her hair being ugly and smelling funny except her mom. I told her I thought her hair was very beautiful (I mean that, she has lovely hair) and that her mom wasn't lying and how cool I thought it was that her mom took the time to care about making her hair pretty. I mentioned how both of us had similar hair and let her touch my braids. She smiled and I could tell she was feeling better. I finished re-braiding and reminded her that everyone had different hair and that everyone's hair was just right for themselves. I even shared with her how people teased me when I was her age about my hair and looks. It made me happy that she left the bathroom glowing.

When I brought her back to the group activity, I saw that the same girls were giving her stank looks and attempted to tare her down again. But she ignored them and I moved her away from them. It had to be done. It's not the other girl's fault that they adhere to the beauty standards shoved down their throats but I find myself each day turning into some sort of...role model? I don't know. I'm very cautious with how I carry myself and how my hair looks and I'm feeling very self conscious about straightening my hair because I don't want to show the girls that I want to satisfy anyone but myself.... Anyway, if anyone has children or deals with them on a constant basis, please share if anything like this has happened and how you dealt with it.

Natural ID

So I'm going to take my new ID picture for my Driver's License in the morning...
My Hair?
I think i'm gonna fro it out!

My last ID picture was from my original, first learners permit. I was 15 then and natural too but my hair was pulled back into a banana clip (my everyday style back in HS) so you couldn't really see what my hair looked like.

I know i should be asleep but i'm thinking about how i should do my hair and makeup since this is the ID picture i will have for a while, and seeing as how i had my last one since i was 15.
Full fro or pulled back puff? idk?!?!

Im just so excited to have a new natural haired ID pic and i hope it comes out good =D

*** Update!!! This is just a quick flick i had snapped of what my hair and makeup looked like, i just hope my forehead doesn't look that huge on my ID! lol

We'll see when it comes in the mail in 2 weeks time

Length Checks and Length Goals

Just going through some length checks i've done since cutting off all of my relaxed hair...
I've cut a lot since i started growing, due to color damage but i am steady in my goals of health over length. That being said, in these past few months i have been doing search and destroys basically on a monthly basis and have had 3, quarter inch trims.
It may not sound like a lot to trim off but 2 inches is a lot to someone who only has about 3.5  inches of hair, lol!
Because i have been so busy i have definitely fallen off of my regimen bigtime, vitamins included, but i plan to go back into some type of protective styling in the next two weeks and get back on the bandwagon with my vitamins, excersize, water, and tying my head down @ night (or buying a new satin/silk pillow case).

(March 24th, 10 days after my cutting off the relaxed ends. This is inaccurate because my eyebrows were raised and on a weird angle, causing my hair to look longer than it was, but its above my eyebrows)

(May 21st)

July 17th

September 19th

Today! 

Although i have trimmed a lot i do see progress and i'm happy with it, now time to get back on track with her Majesty for the winter and see what she looks like by my birthday of 2011! 

I think i've also decided when i wanted to straighten my hair for the first time. 

I originally said for New Years but i think i will wait until 3/3/11! I think i'm going to make it my goal to go for Full Neck Length by then!

*Update! This is basically what i am going for. I personally do not want U or V shaped hair so i will be growing out the very layered portion at the bottom and leaving more layers on top and in the front.