Thursday, October 7, 2010
Hair and the Menz
I'm in a long-term relationship now (4 years) with Mr. Smooth who is Puerto Rican. I hardly consider that inter-racial but I suppose it depends on who you ask. Anyway I do remember wondering if my hair was pretty to him, considering the women in his family had a very different texture than mine. They seemed to have more manageable hair. I was so self-concious about it actually that I admitted to him that he may find lighter skinned, straighter haired women more attractive. (and oddly he in turn thought I'd find a darker skinned male more attractive, just self-esteem issues I guess.) He told me he loved my hair the way it was, and when I almost relaxed it (because I thought my hair was ugly, not because I wanted to try something new!) he convinced me not to. I thought things like that didn't matter to him and I think in the end it doesn't, but it did make me realize that he loved me for who I what I looked like and why on earth couldn't I?
I've only had natural hair so I don't know how it must be for transitioners or those who are newly natural. But I do believe that if you don't like your hair (or yourself for that matter), then how can you expect someone else to? I know I've heard of some stubborn spouses, and you better believe Mr. Smooth doesn't always like the way I style my hair. I prefer a little messiness and he likes things to look neat. I do ask him whether he likes a particular style and unless he can pin point something specific about what he doesn't like, I keep it moving! I do know that I can never go wrong with twists, it's his favorite style. That's about as much people-pleasing I do with that.
Hair enthusiasts, chime in: How does your significant other view your hair?