Sunday, November 4, 2012

Reflections: Length Obsessing

Just passing my 2nd year anniversary on this journey has had me doing so much thinking... One of the biggest thoughts being: Why have I been obsessing so much over long natural  hair?

As I have been trying to get out all of my last few TWA posts and now that I'm in the In-Be-Twa stage, it really put this length obsessing into perspective.

 When I was relaxed I hated my hair! It was always thin and stringy, though it helped me blend in with the rest of society for as long as I wanted until I decided to go natural (texturized really) in high school.
Once high school was over, I was over my stagnant hair.

I never remember having any hair that went significantly passed my shoulder, so with having "hair that doesn't grow", I opted for a short cropped cut, and loved it!

 I thought I could keep my hair texturized with this process, but that was too much work for me to keep it straight, so I finally gave in and relaxed it. I loved wearing my cropped cuts for a while, but after a catastrophe, even if I decided to relax my hair again later, I knew that going natural was the way.

All of my natural hair inspiration were long haired girls. I mean, I saw pics of beautiful TWA's, beautiful TWA cuts and hairstyles, but even though I went natural and chopped all my hair off, what I really wanted was natural long hair.

I liked my 2 inch TWA, easy and beautiful, but I won't lie, I've hardly enjoyed the in between time, and I still haven't gotten to a point where I truly love my hair and everything its doing. Don't get me wrong, I've already fallen madly in love with the textures of my hair, but I never wanted or even considered short natural hair, I want to see my curls in inches upon inches! I'm also dying to see my curl pattern as my hair gets a little longer and heavier! lol

So why am I obsessing over length? Because I want what I want! lol I wore my cropped cuts for nearly 4 years, and had nearly shoulder length or only a little past shoulder length (when i was much younger) hair my whole life before that, so I'd say I have every right to be extremely over having short hair...

That being said, I'm calming down on the length obsessing, because unfortunately i don't have play-doh hair that i can just press my scalp down and grow it as long as I want instantly, lol.

I also realize that I am a slow grower, yielding about a 1/4 to 1/3 of an inch a month, so I will not be reaching my goals as fast as the average growers, but instead I may be 6 months to a year behind.

I've also realized how extremely fine and fragile my hair is, and I think I can finally say that I'm ready to let go of color! I will be keeping my little party patch in the front, and i would be lying if I said I might not try some highlights or a little Ombre in the future, but I can say that i will NEVER do a full head of color on my hair again. I realized that my hair is silky and is a lot stronger without the color, which also means more natural slip, less ssk's and split ends for me... more length retention.. woop woop!
Look at how naturally happy, healthy, and silky my virgin hair is! I can't wait!
Funny because at the start of my natural journey, I had did a second big chop to get rid of color damaged hair and go back to virgin hair, and my hair wasn't even as damaged as it is now. One thing's for sure, I won't be making any hasty decisions and chopping my hair off again! lol

So, I'm calming down on the length obsessing and turning up the protective styling and patience, because I have at least 3 or 4 years before I reach my length goals. With my tightly curled hair, I want to grow my hair  until it's shoulder length to arm pit length in a wash and go without any stretching. You know what that means, look forward to at least another 3 to 4 years of growing and styling with me!!! Woo Hoo!!!

What reflections have your hair milestones bought upon you?

2 comments:

  1. I have vowed "no color" as well! I have concluded that extremely coily resistant hair becomes extremely weak after regretably being forced to conform to any chemicals whether it is relaxer or permanent color. I agree- you are on the right track!

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  2. uhg.. you're so right... color is my one weakness but i definitely need to let that go... like you say regretably... for me anyway.
    Some curlies have really strong hair that can stand up to color, but not my baby hair, lol

    I dont like to knock anyone for their choices so im honestly jealous of the colored curlies! lol But in the end, no one can fight the truth anyway :)

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