I came across this article on Coco & Creme called Five Hair Products Black Women Use That We Should Avoid. The usual suspects are on the list: Mineral Oil, drying alcohols, etc. I read the comments to the article and a lot of folks were saying what I believe is true: do whatever works for you.
I grew up using hair products with mineral oil, hair being wrapped at the ends with beads and rubber bands, slept with cotton bandanas instead of silk scarves and didn't have my hair washed until it was too dirty to handle. I still had a lot hair that was shoulder length and longer. What I know now is that my hair wasn't that healthy, especially my scalp. Avoiding certain products and adhering to natural hair practices like low manipulation and proper use of moisture has made my hair healthier, less drier, and my scalp feeling much better. But I hear some naturals are doing pretty good using those products that I've sworn off. I won't use products with mineral oil at the top of the list because it does not work for my hair. But I also need to shampoo, especially high quality ones and co-washing only doesn't cut it for the sake of my scalp.
I know a lot of naturals who are anti-color because they either feel that the hair is no longer natural or that it will automatically break off or change your curl pattern. I don't really have issues with color in my hair, nor do I think it makes you less natural. I also see no issue with straightening either. Natural hair is versatile and there is not need to feel stigmatized if you want to use heat. If done properly, heat damage can be avoided.
Just remember that when it comes to hair, it's YOUR hair and one size does not fit all. While it's helpful to read blogs and product reviews don't force something that won't work. Remember that part of the journey accepting your natural hair is learning to enjoy it at its various length and stages. So keep out the natural hair police!