Relaxers Vs. Naturals II

Relaxers

 vs.

  Naturals II

      

Im tired of hearing the different reasons why people don't/can't go natural and of course i've heard it all:

• "It takes too much time!"  ~   But they'll go sit in a salon for 3-5 hours just to have someone else wash and roller set/blow out their hair.

• "My hair is too nappy"    ~    Says who? And when was the last time you've even seen your natural hair?

• "I don't have good hair like yours. It's not a nice curly/wavy texture."   ~    Don't compare your hair to someone else's. Learn to love and care for your hair for what it is. Why wouldn't your own hair be good enough for you?

• "I'm not pretty enough to wear that kind of hair. I'll look like a boy."   ~   If you feel like you're not pretty enough, it's sad that straight hair is what makes you feel pretty. Maybe you should work on your self esteem and going natural might teach you a thing or two.There are so many different ways to wear natural hair, if you don't want to look like a boy, then wear feminine hairstyles.

• "I work in a corporate office, i can't go to work with my hair like that."   ~   That is not true. I can understand where you are coming from but i have seen a lot of women with natural hair and their hair always looks beautiful in twist-outs, braid outs, buns, and updo's. I can maybe understand not wanting to wear an afro into the office because that is just a lot of attention but there are many styling options with natural hair that many choose to ignore or not take the time to learn about.

• "My man doesn't like that." or "Men aren't going to want me."  ~  If a man doesn't want you because you have natural hair, he is not worth your time. If anyone isn't able to love you for you then why would you still even consider them?

Now these are just some of the many responses i've gotten when suggesting to someone that they should go natural and just the way i feel about them. 

I'M TIRED OF HEARING EXCUSES. 

People do whatever they want to do. People are conscious beings, and unless something is medically wrong with you, you make your own decisions and do whatever you want, even if you know it means consequences. 

And with this, people continue to deal with the consequences of being constantly chemically burned by relaxers, and burned with hot blowdryers, pressing combs, curling irons and flatirons just  to keep an excuse of why going natural is bad or not for them.

Now i know these things don't happen to everyone all the time, especially if they have the same hairstylist for a while or do their hair for themselves but these things do happen. 

I am in no way against perms, as i have been relaxed on and off an average of every 4 years of my life. 

What i will say is, please do not make excuses as to why you won't go natural, if you don't want one, just say you don't want one, there's no reasons to put naturals in a bad light. 

There are many great things to enjoy about being both relaxed and natural.

I know that as being relaxed isn't for everyone, some people think being natural isn't for them either. 

My thing is, you should love the hair you have and the hair you were born with, then if you decide you want to try some different style options, try a relaxer or texturizer.

 Try it because you want a change or to try something different, not because you hate your hair or its not good enough to be in its natural state.

TWA Afro Formal

Who says the "natural" can't be formal?
Funny that Curly Film Chick just posted on wearing natural hair to formal occasions and i planned on doing the same thing; I guess great minds think alike =)

This past Saturday, Big Chocolate and I attended my mother's 30 year high school reunion with her.
During the past week i had been contemplating different ways to wear my hair to the reunion, especially since it was my first formal event with a TWA. I contemplated many different things; from trying a twist out, to flat ironing, to roller setting, to even saying i was just going to buy a wig.
Then i realized that i had a grown a good amount of hair and wondered why i felt it wasn't good enough for a formal event.

When i saw Curly Film Chick's graduation picture i fell in love. I remember when i graduated from high school and i still had natural hair, i didn't think there was any way i could possibly wear my natural hair with my cap... how would it fit? would it stick up? would it look weird? if i took it off, would my hair be a mess?

I was definitely the only natural in my graduating class and i was terrified of looking terrible with my natural hair, so i stayed up the night before to sew in a straight weave that my cap would surely fit onto...

I didn't want to be that girl again but time was pressing on and i still had no clue of how i wanted to wear my hair. 

While accessory shopping last week, buying different things to go with my dress, i sported my 'fro which received many compliments and amazed stares.  Upon buying all of my accessories i needed to go with my dress, i went home to try everything on together. Once i looked in the mirror i knew i had to wear my afro <3

Hair Day (and trying Curlformers)

I usually wash and style my hair once a week, either Friday, Saturday or Sunday, depending how busy I am. Yesterday (Sunday) I decided to make my wash day because I had time to myself with no one in the house.

My tangled hair, formerly in twists

Giovanni Shampoo, Knot Today (to detangle and leave-in) Renpure Organics (deep condition for 1hr)

Freshly washed, deep conditioned, and detangled hair.

Now lately, the heat has forced me to become apart of the "no-hair-near-the-face" variety, so I've been flat twisting the front of my hair. I used Kinky Curly Knot Today as the leave in. Usually I will do single twists in the back of my hair but I decided to switch it up and try Long and Wide Curlformers. They are just a different type of rollers, a bit easier to put in (in my opinion) then magnetic rollers or flexi rods. You do have to be careful with the hook that comes with it because it can pull the hair out...

Curlformers and flat twists

I set the curlformers with Jane Carter Solutions Wrap and Roll (which I will review later) and let them air dry because I really did not feel like sitting under my hooded dryer in the heat, although based on my results I'm wondering if I should have to set them better...

I actually didn't like it all that much because those weren't the results I was looking for. Curl formers give you a spiral type curl. I know it can be done on my hair because SP and I experimented with them before and I saw the spirals and it's nice. (Although our set didn't quite come out entirely well because we ran out of curlformers and my hair wasn't all the way dry!) Not all has been lost though. This was a good way to stretch my hair out and keep my ends from tangling and I will probably just twist the back like usual and continue to wear my protective style for the week and probably try curlforming next wash day.

Special Occassions

Is wearing natural hair appropriate for special occassions?!

Duh O_o <---insert side eye...

At one point and time-and I'm sure many have felt the same way-I thought that wearing my hair out for a special occasion was an absolute no, unless it was straightened. So for job interviews, celebrations, family dinners and such I would straighten my hair since I didn't want to put them in box braids (and this was before I discovered how much I loved twists.

Well, this past May I graduated from college, and in that month alone I had numerous events to attend. There was graduation,  my thesis film screening and my b-day--all within days of each other and I really was fretting over my hair. I know that had to look presentable but I still needed to feel myself. And thus, I went with my usual big hair....

At my thesis screening...

with my robes for graduation...

grad potrait (yes I've sent this out to relatives)

I'm proud of myself for actually feeling confident enough to just sport my hair out. I'm not oppose to moderate use of the flatiron, but I am so happy that I didn't bother to reach for it because I didn't think I needed it and it felt good to be that confident. If you want to rock your natural curls or coils but feel like you can't without it being straightened, weaved up, or with extensions, I  say go for it. I'm sure that for the events, people might have hoped that I wore my hair differently, but to hell with what anyone else may think is "proper" or not. It matters what you want to do and what you are comfortable with. I challenge those who are afraid that for your next family bbq/fancy dinner/insert special outing that you may have to hide your hair, wear it out and proud!

Accessories!!!

I feel like every time i pass by some cute accessories these days, its not me but my hair who needs it. 

I'm always thinking like "ooh! these would look so cute with my fro!" or "these look so good with my hair," it's never about me anymore. Lol

I personally think  it's important as a natural to make sure you look your best, whatever your style and best is for you. I think in this day and age, when your hair is natural you really represent for all naturals out  there and i want to make sure i'm a good representation. I want people to realize just because your hair is natural doesn't mean you are becoming particularly "afro-centric" or that you have to look homely all the time and we do shave  our armpits ....

I say  this because i heard a few people say that they think most women who have natural hair don't shave. Some people shave, some people don't, textured hair or not...idiots. Anyhooo.... moving on...  Lol

A lot of women think that when you go natural you can't look dressy/ fancy or very well put together, or they can't get a corporate job or they will be less desirable to men or blah blah blah blah blah

In my opinion, people will do whatever they want to do, so if they wanted to have natural hair, they wouldn't let it hold them back from any of those things. And especially for women who don't want to have natural hair because they think men won't like it, i think they need to get their priorities straight because if a man won't accept you with your own natural hair, then he isn't the one for you.

Okay... Off topic again! Get it together SP.... Accessories, right....

My Bad.

So i've definitely been keeping an eye for accessories a lot more now, which unfortunately has led to a bit of shopping. I decided to take a few pics of some of what i got! :

1. Flower and decorative rings
2. suede feather earrings
3. Peacock headband
4. red,black,green chain earrings (picked out by my SO)
5. Heart earrings @ the BK museum
6. Gold Necklace
7. Black Heart studs
8. Black and gold drop earrings
9. Ivory flower earrings
10. Tortoise shell sunglasses
11. Leather and snakeskin gold lighting bolt earrings
12. 2 finger chain rings and 2 finger 3star ring
13. Flower hair pin

So keep it classy ladies and remember to rep' the natural right!

Hair Goals

Lately, I been thinking about exactly what I want to do with my hair. What is the purpose of me growing it out and what do I plan on doing it?

Length: Looking back at my childhood photos, I realized my hair was shoulder length, and sometimes slightly longer. As a teen, the longest length I had in my signature boxbraids was arm pit length. Over the years my hair broke off, had to cut out heat damage and haggard ends, and now I am consciously trying to see how long I can grow my hair. My hair naturally grows in layers, so the back (is it called the nape?) is inbetween shoulder length and arm pit length. The front is probably between necklength and collarbone. I think I may want it to be mid-back length, but also I want my hair to be full shoulder length. Hopefully all my layers will catch up

Styling: I've never been to a salon (except to the Aveda salon, where SP was a student at the time and she did my hair) and my goal is to never have to set foot in one. I've heard too many horror stories about stylists not listening to their client and thinking they know better than you do and what not. I'm getting to know my hair and I know what it likes, so if someone told me no I'd flip. That's okay, I'll just do my own hair or have SP do it since she is the only person who has ever listened to not be intimidated by my mane . So anyway, I plan mastering styles on my hair.

Taking Care of Me: Embracing my hair actually taught me to embrace all parts of me. I had serious self-esteem issues and once I started loving my hair, I started loving myself a whole lot more! In general, I'm probably a medium-low maintance person but I've never loved myself as much as I do now. I'm careful what I put in my hair and I'm careful what I put in my body. I am careful with who I allow to touch my hair and careful who I allow to be around me. I have more pride in who I am and am not ashamed. I think the relationship between women of color and hair is so complex and interesting. It may be "just hair" for some, but for others it really dictates a lot. Hair is becoming just hair for me now because I have accepted it for myself. It may take others a while until they reach that.

Mini Fro Update!

Uuummm.... in other news, this is exactly what it says, a mini fro update!

(idk... i'm crazy, but in love with my froooooo!!! <3 )

Before bed, i moisturized her majesty and braided her into 6 big braids. This will help keep the moisture in and i also hope it will keep my hair stretched out too... maybe even give a cool texture to my afro...

After moisturizing and braiding, she was tucked under a satin scarf and put to bed. 

Good night your Majesty

iloveyou