Sunday Question Revamped: Dealing With Negative Hair Comments ON A DATE!

My first Sunday Question! Yay!! lol

While reading through the blog, I had came across one of Curly Film Chick's loved Sunday Questions about dealing with negative hair comments and it really triggered a few thoughts of my own, especially being I recently went through a situation I thought I should post about...

A few weeks ago, I met a new guy (uhg... single life) and decided he seemed nice enough to allow him to take me on a date. He was a black guy, of Carribean descent, so I was very taken aback when he decided to make a "joke" about my hair. He was wearing one of these hats:

And proceeded to tell me not only that my hair looked like his hat, but that I needed to give Oprah her hair back.

 -__-

Last I checked, I actually wouldn't mind having some hair like Oprah's, in any state... we all know Oprah has that good hair. lol

I'm new to the dating world, but I know thats definitely not okay, joke or not. I responded with my greatest amount of sarcasm "Oh, I'm sorry I'm black" and proceeded to do my best not to choke him out.

He was surprised that I didn't find it funny (dumb@$$) but I just didn't get where any one in their right mind would think that's okay...

 I mean I met him on the day I had this hairstyle (not the style that was judged) but I guess he didn't notice then that I had natural hair... and that I was black ... so I don't know what he was expecting. 

It doesn't even surprise me that it would be coming from a black man either...

What do you think ladies? Have you ever experienced such adversity on a date? Even when dating "your own kind"? 

Help!

Natural Year 2: Blow out, Flat Iron, Length Check & Reflections

 I broke the videos down into 3 parts so it wouldn't be one super long video, but I guess I'll let the videos (or me) do all the talking for themselves :) ... but wait? Why is Debbie in the background tryna steal my shine? lol
 #pleaseexcusemycreepyoldcosmetologyschoolmannequinhead

Curl Preference - Poll Results

It looks like our Sunday Question about Curl Preference has some interesting results:

64% prefer to have defined curls
5% prefer undefined curls
29% will wear defined or undefined curls depending on their mood

No one has shared their reasoning for their curl preference and we're really curious about it, especially the 29% of you that voted who will wear either or. What occasions call for defined curls or undefined ones? Is it a simple difference on whether you're heading to work/class or going out with friends? Let us know in the comment section below! 

Switching Up My Posting Focus

Beautiful Artwork by Dawn Okoro

So I've been yelled at enough to know that I don't have a TWA anymore! I won't lie, I've had a TWA for so long, there are a few bittersweet feelings, but oh well! lol

I tried making a title for us awkward length, still feeling and looking like a TWA, but not exactly girls... In-Be-TWA... no one embraced it, so moving on...

So now, I've decided to switch up my focus:

Low Density, Fine Hair

If many of you weren't aware, I have low density, fine hair. Curly Film chick has high density, fine hair.
The density refers to the amount of strands we have per square inch on our heads, and fine describes the width of the individual strands, usually categorized by fine, medium, or coarse being the thickest strand.

Any other low density, fine hair chicas out there will understand the struggle... styling to try to make the hair look fuller, bigger, not too thin or bald looking, lol.  Many people always say it looks like i have a lot of hair, but truth is, I just do my best to make my hair look full.
I constantly am fluffing to the maximum, doing natural hair "comb overs"of sorts to hide any thin areas, and staying away from styles that will have me looking scalpy.

I feel like as I'm searching through protective styles especially, there are always a lot of styles for girls with really dense hair, lots of parts and little braids... those styles don't work for me.

So now that I really am out of TWA waters, I will be catering to us Low Density, fine haired girls especially. Creating styles and techniques from this awkward stage and beyond.

Think: Volume, Big, Up-do's, Textures, Flat Twists, French Braids, Whatever else I can come up with, it's going down! lol

Stay Tuned for the Start of my Low Density, Fine hair posts!!! 
I will be labeling them: LDFH

Bashing Justin Timberlake's Curls?

The Article:

Justin's Gone Straight

"Justin Timberlake always had smooth moves, but smooth hair? Not so much. James Feng, stylist at NYC's Cutler/Redken Salon, believes he recently got a Keratin treatment, turning his "unruly and coarse" coif into a "softer, more managable" one. Aha!"

Now of course I had to post this... (this article came out earlier this year, I know i'm late and I dont care!) lol

We are not alone. 

I'm always fascinated by an amazing head of curls, but I'm definitely more fascinated walking by a white person with hair that looks like mine. I assume they go through a lot of the same issues I go through, aside from the fact that they're not looked at as "colored" people. It makes me wonder what walks of life they came from, their outlooks on life, and how their hair makes them view themselves. 

I wonder how JT feels about his hair?

It's possible Justin had just had his hair straightened out for a movie role, or SNL segment, or maybe he did straighten it just for a change... but who's to say he doesn't love his curly hair? 

Personally :::though nobody asked me::: I think JT looks hot with any type of hair, especially with it buzzed down!

Over the years we've seen Justin Timberlake from the Mickey Mouse Club, to N'SYNC, to becoming a Solo artist to becoming an actor, and it seems to me like he's been enjoying, or at least embracing his curly hair. Not to mention, like most curlies, he seems to be well aware of all the hair options he has with his fyne self! lol

I don't know where the stylist, and writer of the article get off using such negative terms to describe JT's hair. The article says "James Feng... believes he got a Keratin treatment," which means he himself did not do JT's hair... how would he know if JT's hair was coarse and unruly? Or how could the writer say his hair isn't smooth? His curls looked pretty smooth, and might I add frizz free to me... Who's to say JT doesn't have soft, silky curls?

I'm sure when JT saw this article, he was like "Really? James F*&%?! How's that for coarse and unruly?!" LMFAO

I'm sure we've all dealt with people just looking at our hair and making negative assumptions without truly having any idea... 

What do you all think of the negative statements made about Justin Timberlake's hair?

Reflections: Length Obsessing

Just passing my 2nd year anniversary on this journey has had me doing so much thinking... One of the biggest thoughts being: Why have I been obsessing so much over long natural  hair?

As I have been trying to get out all of my last few TWA posts and now that I'm in the In-Be-Twa stage, it really put this length obsessing into perspective.

 When I was relaxed I hated my hair! It was always thin and stringy, though it helped me blend in with the rest of society for as long as I wanted until I decided to go natural (texturized really) in high school.

Once high school was over, I was over my stagnant hair.

I never remember having any hair that went significantly passed my shoulder, so with having "hair that doesn't grow", I opted for a short cropped cut, and loved it!

 I thought I could keep my hair texturized with this process, but that was too much work for me to keep it straight, so I finally gave in and relaxed it. I loved wearing my cropped cuts for a while, but after a catastrophe, even if I decided to relax my hair again later, I knew that going natural was the way.

All of my natural hair inspiration were long haired girls. I mean, I saw pics of beautiful TWA's, beautiful TWA cuts and hairstyles, but even though I went natural and chopped all my hair off, what I really wanted was natural long hair.

I liked my 2 inch TWA, easy and beautiful, but I won't lie, I've hardly enjoyed the in between time, and I still haven't gotten to a point where I truly love my hair and everything its doing. Don't get me wrong, I've already fallen madly in love with the textures of my hair, but I never wanted or even considered short natural hair, I want to see my curls in inches upon inches! I'm also dying to see my curl pattern as my hair gets a little longer and heavier! lol

So why am I obsessing over length? Because I want what I want! lol I wore my cropped cuts for nearly 4 years, and had nearly shoulder length or only a little past shoulder length (when i was much younger) hair my whole life before that, so I'd say I have every right to be extremely over having short hair...

That being said, I'm calming down on the length obsessing, because unfortunately i don't have play-doh hair that i can just press my scalp down and grow it as long as I want instantly, lol.

I also realize that I am a slow grower, yielding about a 1/4 to 1/3 of an inch a month, so I will not be reaching my goals as fast as the average growers, but instead I may be 6 months to a year behind.

I've also realized how extremely fine and fragile my hair is, and I think I can finally say that I'm ready to let go of color! I will be keeping my little party patch in the front, and i would be lying if I said I might not try some highlights or a little Ombre in the future, but I can say that i will NEVER do a full head of color on my hair again. I realized that my hair is silky and is a lot stronger without the color, which also means more natural slip, less ssk's and split ends for me... more length retention.. woop woop!

Look at how naturally happy, healthy, and silky my virgin hair is! I can't wait!

Funny because at the start of my natural journey, I had did a second big chop to get rid of color damaged hair and go back to virgin hair, and my hair wasn't even as damaged as it is now. One thing's for sure, I won't be making any hasty decisions and chopping my hair off again! lol

So, I'm calming down on the length obsessing and turning up the protective styling and patience, because I have at least 3 or 4 years before I reach my length goals. With my tightly curled hair, I want to grow my hair  until it's shoulder length to arm pit length in a wash and go without any stretching. You know what that means, look forward to at least another 3 to 4 years of growing and styling with me!!! Woo Hoo!!!

What reflections have your hair milestones bought upon you?

Sunday Question: Advice For The Someone Going Natural

"2nd Day" hair from a braid out on Friday

At work on Friday, I got into a small discussion with a co-worker about hair. She compliments a lot of my styles, especially when my hair is big and loose, and often says how she wishes her hair could do that.

"My hair is a brillo pad," she always says. "You have a good grade of hair, that's why you can wear it like that."

I'm always startled whenever someone mentions "good hair" because I don't believe in it, and also never know what to say to that. If I wasn't so thrown off, I would muster up a response explaining that there's no such thing as "good hair" and that you just need to learn how to take care of it; that it's true that people have a problem with perceptions of beauty and "kinky" hair is expected to be "tamed" instead of admired or "owned" as SP wrote the other day. Alas, I'm not that eloquent on the spot and I have difficulty in talking to people who are "set in their ways of thinking" (like the notion of "good" and "bad" hair) because I find it more beneficial to show them instead. Ironically I didn't realize that I've been showing my co-worker for a long time that natural hair is awesome through the styles I wear at work and as a weave-wearer with relaxed hair, she wanted to learn how to work with her natural hair as well. I finally picked up on it when on Friday she said that she had a stylist do a twist-out that came out horribly because her hair was just too dry, and that she went back to the weave but opted not to get her hair relaxed and used a hot comb instead to blend because she really doesn't want to process it anymore. It suddenly dawned upon me that all this time she was trying to get me to help her with her with her hair! So a little later that afternoon after being on gChat with SP agonizing over the situation (would it be offensive to tell recommend products, tell her that there's no such thing as bad hair etc - I've had a bad experience with this before!) I walked over to her and chatted with her about hair, then gave her SP's info for styling. She was relieved and happy for the chat - whew!

So I guess today's question is, What is your quickie advice for someone thinking of going natural for the first time?

Want to submit a "Sunday Question?" Email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Take Credit for Those Beautiful Curls

Last week Curly Film Chick and I had a cute little dinner date, forgot to photograph the dish, but as usual we got into our many talks about our lives, and growing up and hair experiences. Which led me to one of mine... never realizing I had curls.

When I was a child, my mother kept my hair in box braids and single strand twists as an easier way for her to deal with my hair, and whenever I wore my hair out, it was generally in afro puffs. I never knew that I had curly hair, and I dont think any one else did either. Not to mention that once I was able to do my own hair I was obsessed with piking it out... I think it had something to do with watching Marsha on the Brady Bunch and thinking you needed to brush your hair 100 times everyday to have the prettiest hair, lol.

I remember I used to love shampooing my hair in the mirror because I would see it get all wavy and thought that was beautiful, but once i took that pik to my head there were waves no more, so I just attributed it to the shampoo making my hair that way...

When I was in Cosmetology school at the Carsten Aveda Institute, I did my first big chop (click to read the crazy story!) because of a crazy chemical process I did in Brazil  gone wrong. My hair died on my head, and after about 2 months of holding on to dead hair, I chopped it off. I would let my friends wash my hair in school for the scalp massages, using Aveda's Be Curly line, adding the curling products, so again, I attributed my curls to the products. 

Had I knew how to manipulate my curls, I would have taken credit for them a long time ago and I would have already had the natural hair I always wanted. Lesson Learned.

What ever your hair type, take credit for it's beauty and love it for what it is, instead of hating it for what it's not. Take credit for your curls because they're yours, not because you're mixed with whatever. Take credit for your curls because you love them.

When did you first realize your hair's true beauty?

Repost: What Being Natural Has Really Taught Me

Up until a couple of years ago, I was that young girl who felt so ugly if my hair wasn't done. My hair was either in box braids or twists, and during the in-between I hid my attempts at wearing my hair loose under a hat or scarf and headed to class. On those days my moods were off and I had to struggle to keep from crying because I thought I was so damn ugly. Whether I was in an exciting production class or taking notes on a lecture, the way my hair looked under my hat or scarf was always taking over a big part of my concentration. I just wanted to have pretty hair and look good, like the actresses and random women my guy friends drooled after.

And so began the natural hair journey, which included learning to be comfortable in my own skin. Sure, I've never been relaxed and I was that girl who "had the Indian in her, with the good hair" but that didn't spare me from comments that it needed fixing. I had too much hair, it was big and poofy, and needed to be tamed somehow. A relaxer was suggested to make me "look prettier" and to "enhance" my so-called exotic (read: non-black) side which was both confusing and irritating for me--it played into my identity issues as kid that I'm still processing. Learning about natural hair connected me to my ethnicities, my culture, and how I started seeing myself as a proud woman of color.

For me bad hair days no longer exist, and it's not because I always know what to do with my hair. It's because I no longer view myself and my hair the same way I used to. Yes, there are days when my hair didn't come out the way I may have wanted but it does not have a heavy impact on my mood like it used to; because now I am satisfied with my looks and embrace what I've got. I no longer measure myself against others because I too am great in my own way. I wear make-up sometimes because I want to, not because I need it. I wear my hair straight, in fluffy, undefined styles, and sometimes in twists and braids and I'm comfortable in all of it.

Whether you've done the "Big Chop" and sporting short hair, transitioning, or just learning how to work with your "crown and glory" know that this journey is FOR YOU and BY YOU. Hair won't make you a better person and instantly prettier if you don't already feel that way. As a young person of color it can be hard but you're not alone and you have support, including (I hope) this blog =)

PS: Listening to TLC's "Unpretty" is what inspired this post. Their video/lyrics are timeless truths of what goes on today.

Natural Hair Memories: Baby Hair

I just finished reading this article on Clutch Mag about the whole "Baby Hair Obsession" pop-culture had in the 90s, with stars like Chili who rocked it frequently. For those of you who don't know when we (mostly black woman I imagine) say "baby hair" we're talking about the waves you may have (or create) at your hairline. I have no idea where this term came from, but I have a hunch as to why we want it - to look "mixed," which is an indicator of having "good hair," which is hair that should have the least amount of kinks/coils as possible. It's ridiculous and I say this as a person who has "baby hair."

As a kid my hairline was never brushed down - on day one of neatly done braids the hairs along my hairline and the back of my head was straight without coaxing, and then by days two and three it was frizzy because no one cared about keeping my baby hair in check. It wasn't until I got to junior high school when I started noticing girls in the bathroom using gel or Vaseline and a comb to smooth down what they called "baby hair." Suddenly I noticed that I had it too, and my friend insisted I start taming my hairline to show off how "good" my hair was. Wanting to fit in, I started  slicking my hair down with water. I didn't have any gel in my house and Vaseline didn't seem to work that great, so my hairline still frizzed up. I gave up on looking "mixed" and as an adult, while I'm amused by my "baby hair" I can't say I work towards keeping it sleek. Day one and two it's always wavy/straight but by day three it's fuzzy and I'm over it. I don't care for the sleek look anyway as evident by my hairstyle choices (read: big and poofy).

How do you guys feel about baby hair? Do you know where the terms comes from? Let us know!

The Language of Hair Products - Still Chasing the Curl

So I recently got this email from Curls about their latest product Cashmere Curl Jelly. I have no problems with the Curls line as I use the clarifying shampoo and adore the Curlicious Curls Cleansing Cream. What rubs me the wrong way is the misleading language, "Go From Kinks to Curls." It makes me think of a couple of things: that some naturals still have not fully accepted their hair texture/shape and are still chasing a certain "hair type" that they don't have, and the tricky language companies use to get you to buy products - Curls is obviously NOT the only company to do this and this isn't an attack on them what so ever.

If you don't have a certain kind of hair, a product will not magically make it appear. I think this product may define your curl/coils but if you don't have a certain curl pattern, this product will not make it appear. I have a variety of curl patterns and textures: the front being very fine with coily waves, the middle being tightly coiled and medium to fine strands and the back section having loose, medium curls. I don't expect this product to suddenly turn my coils into the loose curls I have in the back, but by looking at this ad, it seems like it could happen!

In any case, there are other reasons to try this product: the ingredients look good, and it probably will define the kind of hair you already have, and if you're into high-end, organic stylers, it could be for you. Heck, even I'm interested in buying it; the shampoos from this line have not failed me, so it might be time to give the stylers a go!

Repost: Natural Alienation

There's no denying that the natural hair community in general is a very welcoming place. For many, it's the first time someone can feel accepted for who they are. I've been lurking on blogs for a while, and I  rarely comment because I can be painfully shy (both in person and online) and I've also witnessed people being down right attacked for innocent views like coloring or straightening their natural hair, or even debating who can call themselves natural or not. It annoys me as well, when certain people's experiences are "dismissed" because one group feels they aren't valid.

Sometimes I come across dialogue about how this group of naturals have it easier then others, usually decided by hair type or curl pattern ( the 3s and the 4s). I've even had someone say it to me in person, that I have "good hair" so I couldn't possibly understand what it's like to struggle with hair and it makes me feel dismissed from the natural hair conversation--and I didn't know I was playing in the oppression olympics -___- My experiences may not be the same as someone with a different texture, but I still came from a barrel of bad hair days, frustration, and disliking myself simply because I didn't know how to manage my hair. I had terrible self esteem and natural hair taught me acceptance of my whole self. So of course I'm dismayed when someone decides that I don't matter because my hair story doesn't align with a certain "natural hair journey" narrative that others have constructed.

And now onto my major pet-peeve: deciding on who can call themselves natural. I tend to ignore this debate and I'm not even sure it's that big around these parts but it's still something I come across every now and again and it's irritating. I was told some time ago that because I have my hair colored I'm not natural. That someone who still straightens their hair isn't natural. I've even heard that twist outs/braid outs and using henna means that you aren't truly embracing your texture and therefore shouldn't be considered natural. There's all this pressure to adhere to about people's individual hair choices as if there's a recipe you're supposed to follow which can lead to alienation of an entire community founded on embracing yourself.

How I Feel About You Touching My Natural Hair

There's no definitive answer as to whether or not hair touching is okay. It really matters to the individual; some naturals are all for it, others are against it. I will say I'm not a fan of strangers touching my hair and I don't care what your race is. I've had instances when both white and black men and women have decided it was okay to reach out and touch my strands without asking first. The first time it happened must've been when the concept of "going natural" was still really new; I was a junior in high school rocking my signature box braids and a woman with short natural hair stopped to ask me if all the hair was mine and if I was trying for sister locks - I guess because my braids were so tiny. As I was attempting to answer her she decided she'd reach out and touch my hair. It happened so fast that I didn't really get a chance to react, but I was mortified that a complete stranger thought it was okay to just touch a part of me without permission.

Box braids, Spring 2007

Fast forward to now and I don't allow strangers to touch my hair, I don't care how cool they think it is. I'm flattered when people stop me in the street or on the subway and chat me up about hair, but I will say no if they ask to touch it. HOWEVER, if I have some sort of connection I don't mind and depending on how close we are asking may not be necessary; my close friends touch my hair, will pull it from my face if it's windy or a strand has escaped the hold of a bobby-pin; my sisters touch my hair in both admiration and if they suddenly need to fix it, and my dad sometimes cocks his head to the side and asks "how I get my hair like that" while reaching for a lock of hair, and of course my fiance will stroke my hair absent-mindedly; he even helps me wash it sometimes. Since I view my hair as part of my body, being allowed to touch it is a matter of intimacy which strangers, or people who I don't know too well, aren't afforded.

But there have been a few times I felt it was okay. When I was working with kids last year, I let the little girl who was teased and shamed for her natural texture feel mine to make her feel better;  a few months back a co-worker was admiring a fluffy braid out - this might have been Valentine's Day. She's natural too, but always seems to struggled with her hair and I'm actually not close to her at all - we barely say hello to each other. Anyway, one day I saw her rocking a wash and go with her hair a little poofy and I could see it on her face that she wasn't comfortable even though I thought it was cute. I bumped into her in the kitchen and complimented her on her hair and she suddenly opened up to me about how unsure she had been of rocking her texture and how she always liked my hair (color me surprised that she even noticed me!). So the day I had my hair big and poofy she came up to me and chatted me about how I did it, what products and methods to use etc and asked me if she could touch it and I actually said yes. I was slightly uncomfortable with it, because of what I previously stated about hair touching being intimate, but I really wanted her to feel good about her hair. We're not buddies or anything now but I think I helped her in some way and that gave me some satisfaction.


So those are my views on hair touching! How do you guys feel about it? Do you let strangers touch your hair, why or why not? Let us know!

That Awkward Moment When Everyone Wants You To Straighten

Growing up, I remember everyone hounding me to straighten my hair. Even in the best twisted style, or colorful hair with box braids, no one seemed satisfied with my hair because they were dying to see it straight. I too wondered what my hair would look like and it was a welcomed change, until I started becoming dependent on it because I thought my hair was too crazy any other way.

Hair is hair and can be changed whenever and however you want. But why does it seem like people are so invested in naturally curly/textured hair being straight? I will never forget this girl I knew freshman year of high school who had beautiful curls; everyone complimented how nice and long her hair was but immediately suggested that she straightened her hair. When she did, they ooo'd and aaah'd over it and said she should wear it like that all the time. I notice when I started putting pictures up on Facebook of my hair straight, I'd get tons of comments of how I had "good hair" how long and pretty it was, how I look more "Indian" and folks wondering why I didn't do it more often. I notice a different grade of comments when I post pictures of my hair curly, the comments are either fewer, or I get comparisons to "insert-random-black-celebrity-I-look-nothing-like." I pretty much made it a thing not to post anymore straight hair pics because of this; now I post poofy fros and my hair fresh after washing. You all know that I have no issues with straight natural hair and I enjoy it every so often, but the comments are not about "oh look you changed your hair" but more of an admiration of what my hair is not. And that's what seems problematic to me.

SP and I were talking yesterday about how people who are mixed are expected to look a certain way, and I've blogged about this before. People act downright shocked to learn SP is Brazillian unless she dyes her hair a lighter color; folks want me to look more "Indian" (or do they mean Native-American? Which is what I actually am) and wear my hair straight. I find it both silly and frustrating that in this day and age, people think that the hair that grows naturally out of your head is "wrong." Again, I don't care if you have a relaxer, my preference is not to have one because I don't need it. Wanting and needing are two different things, and honestly no one needs a relaxer, even if we've been conditioned to think this way.

So, here's to big poofy hair, embracing the way I look and having the freedom to change it whenever the hell I want to!

Straight hair 2011

Night out sometime in 2011

Just washed, Summer 2011

Poofy hair, April 2012

Early 2012

There you have it folks! Basically, wear your hair the way you want and don't let anyone tell you that you need anything! That's all!

My Last Straightening Before Summer Concluded

Here is what my hair looks like straightened after being unwrapped, without having any real bump to it. These pictures may be kind of horrible, but they've been great with helping me track my progress.




As you can probably see, my left side is my faster growing side, and my right side is my fuller growing side, so my hair is a little asymmetrical but I'm okay with that for now. I've been growing out my layers a little before focusing on length, trimming more in the back and less in the front or I would have definitely had an afro mullet by now -___- Not happening. Seeing as how I "big chopped" twice, I would definitely say my goals were readjusted from growing length first, to shaping my hair first. I'm really looking forward to this summer coming and the length I can retain, since last year I dealt with a setback and basically had no summer retention, plus needed to trim a good 1/2 inch of split ends. This year I'm really on my game so nothing of the sort will be happening under my watch. I'm definitely looking forward to those 2 inches I should gain from now until September.
I've gauged that my hair doesn't grow that fast, and I think it definitely misses Hairfinity. I can't lie, I feel like my hair was growing like weeds when I used to take these vitamins religiously back in 2010... My birthday is coming up, I think I'm about to make myself an order...
I've been fully natural for the past 2 years now, so I have more than enough mistakes and set backs to have taught me a thing or two so I can now avoid those issues. I know certain things are unavoidable (Yeah, I mean You SSK's! #ikillyou! You too split ends!) but I'm so happy I've learned different techniques and theories to keep these issues at bay. Aside from any setbacks, I'm also really happy just to have learned my hair, what it likes and needs, the fact that I have like 7 different textures and all of my beautiful hair is in a mohawked section on my head, and my sides and edges will be the death of me. The fact that my hair doesn't seem to grow the average 1/2 inch a month but instead a little slower. Understanding is a beautiful thing.

Looking back at the different goals I've set and readjusted on this blog over time, I wasn't doing too bad with staying on track until my setback last summer. With a quick goal readjustment, I'm hoping to claim full shoulder length by the end of the summer, Collarbone length even, and full arm pit length by Valentine's Day 2013. By this point, hopefully most of my layers will be grown out, so all of my hair can reach these lengths, not just a tail in the back. My hair is really fine, so it also adds to the reason why I don't want too many layers, I want my hair to look as full as possible. My goal is actually to achieve all one length (with probably just like an inch of layering from the bottom for shape), full, hip length hair that is full all the way down to the ends. It might sound crazy, but since I'll be wearing my hair curly 97% of the time, it'll probably still be shrinking up to shoulder length in Wash n Gos if I let it... Plus with my short torso, hip length is jsut about 20-22 inches of hair on me... 6 down, 16 more inches to go! lol

And lastly, I will say I'm uber excited to see my ponytail, as with relaxed hair I never had a ponytail even half as full as it is now (sad. I know). The even better thing  about that is, my hair still has a lot of growing to do so my ponytail will be even fuller soon! =D

I can't wait to see what my hair will look like straightened come September!!! Who out there is Growing with me?! 

This Week Should Have Been: Banana Clip Week!

 Earlier this week, I posted an easy little Banana clip w/ pompadour up do I had done a few months ago, and Curly Film Chick was inspired and also made her own, super cute banana clipped style. I too had been inspired and decided to wear my hair up in a banana clip!

I did the two braids in the front to give my thin/fine/fragile edges a break (minimal protective styling), as I can leave them in as a headband and style around them, not having to constantly manipulate the hair in my hairline/edges. The braids in the front are also great at keeping the front of your hair looking neat and frizz free with out having to manipulate the hair with brushing and pulling to to slick it back.
I was rocking a twist out I had done on hair that had been twisted and banded to stretch after washing, and decided to put it up with a Banana Clip. Using a banana clip is always a favorite and easy go to because they fit all of my hair, aren't too tight, and won't completely ruin whatever "set" I had done to my hair. Wearing a twist out with braids in the front, I was able to easily go from the banana clipped hair style, to this:

Think of options like these for all of you ladies who need the ease of changing your hair from day to night in a cinch. Also for you ladies who feel stuck with limited options, think of little, low manipulation ways to be able to easily switch your style up for the week. In one week we've shown you 3 different Banana clipped hair styles at 3 different lengths, and all are totally adaptable!

Any of you try rocking a Banana Clip this week? Have a super versatile style you like to share? We'd love to see it too... Please send any style ideas to yais.nyc@gmail.com so we can share them too!

Between the TWA

Hello all of my beautiful YAIS readers!
I think we've all pretty much established that I (SPstyles) am the TWA blogger on here and Curly Film Chic is the long/full  hair blogger. We didn't plan for it to be that way, as we are two high school friends who just one day decided to start a natural hair blog together, but I guess it totally works, lol.
Anyway, I always wondered why all of my TWA posts got so much attention when they were posts I wasn't particularly excited about... all because I was all too eager to get away from my TWA. The other day I decided to send my most recent TWA post to Curly Nikki, as I thought the feelings evoked from the post here on the blog, might translate to a wider audience, and it did! One of the readers left a comment that totally opened my eyes to a little more of what's needed here in the TWA world, In Between TWA posts! Reader Comment:
"It is soo nice to see someone on here in the same awkward stage that I am in. Though the long glossy meins are great inpiration, I sometimes feel that there could be more catered for up neck lenght girls. Maybe it should be you. Post some more."

And that is just what I plan to do!!! TWA ladies, I, SPstyles have taken a vow to hold you down for as long as I still have this in-beTWA! Lol I'm a hairstylist so please utilize me! I would love to be able to try out and come up with new methods for us In-beTWA-er's! (eew. ugly word play, lol)

Have any Ideas for TWA Hairstyles you've been thinking of and just don't know how to execute? Any Questions concerning anything... Please let me know what you all need, as I'd love to be able to cater my posts and videos to those topics


nothing? really?

Stunning Chocolate Afro Beauty In The GAP campaign

While walking my dog today, I was taken aback by the sight of this beauty on the bus stop GAP poster.
Not only is she a gorgeous chocolate girl but how about that Afro! I love how they didn't photoshop her hair perfectly round, nor did they photoshop the texture. Very seldom do we see a chocolate girl, with actual chocolate skin, rocking a a huge full on fro... it would usually be a twist out or curly set of some type, or just cut low... It's so beautiful to see chocolate faces in fashion places, especially Naturally Beautiful ones.

Long TWA Ladies: Do You Ever Feel Stuck Between A Rock And A Twist-Out?

Yes, I said Long TWA, lol. I'm sure anyone who's grown their hair out from a TWA before would understand what it's like when you get to that in between point when your hair is finally not 2 inches long anymore... but still once you let it dry, it kinda still is.    >_< grrrr shrinkage!

I would say my hair is close to being full shoulder length,  definitely full neck length already with my nape already crawling past my shoulders. When I wash my hair, most of my textures shrink up to about 2 - 3  inches. My hair lengths range from 5 to 8 inches. If I was to air dry, I would always have a 1 inch looking shrunken up Afro  -_- 

Now That would be fine if I wanted to rock a 1 inch fro. I would totally just keep my hair cute and cut and easy, but since I'm currently in the process of growing my hair out, it's really frustrating to not immediately be able to see my length, I always have to do some type of stretching process: Banding, Braiding, Twisting, bunning, setting, straightening... uhg... I've learned that it comes with the territory but it's all so frustrating. 

I thought I was out of the TWA park but I'm really realizing I'm not. I just can't wait until my hair gets longer so I can stop feeling like I'm stuck between a rock and a twist out.

All you ladies that have or have had a TWA, have you experienced this feeling? What helped you get through these in-between times?

When Going Natural Part 2: Expectations For Your Hair

I've mentioned before that although I've been natural my entire life, I never really saw my curls or played in my hair while it was loose. I knew my hair would shrink up when wet but often wondered what would happen if I just wore my hair like that. At first I wasn't sure about my hair. As a Black Woman of Color with a mixed heritage, I wanted my hair to be "either or" - either big bouncy curls or wavy/straight. As we all know, just because you are "mixed" does not mean you will get a certain "look." This in-between I discovered was strange and at the time I couldn't find anyone who could help me manage this "in-between." But now, it's been my quest for the last few years to play with this idea, and while I've hardly been a wash and go type of lady, I like the way my curls look. I know that I have a mixture of spiral curls: some are loose and some are tight and some parts of my hair are more wavy. It's intriguing to learn how to manage the different patterns And if you're discovering your curls for the first time, it may not be what you expected at all.

Some naturals may describe their hair using the Hair Typing System because it shows the kind of curl pattern your hair have; some of us have a mixture of curl patterns. Keep in mind there's no hierarchy as to what kind of hair is "better." I do agree that society seems to like a certain type of curl but that doesn't mean your hair "type" isn't beautiful. Maybe you're not use to your texture just yet, but becoming natural is a journey, one which will help you learn about what it means to have the hair you have.