International Beauty Show NY

Every year, the IBS comes to NY at the Javits center for 3 days... Since I was in LA I only bought my ticket for the last day...  I love the beauty show though, it's sooo fun!

A very sleepy me @ the International Beauty Show NY after coming in off my flight from LA earlier yesterday morning... I wore a turban for the first time! (I wish I took a better pic for you all but by the time I got home I passed out!)

Loved both the purple and the red hair, also the awesome crimps and curls!

Look at Nick Arrojo from "What Not To Wear!" He's a super cool dude (left)


You know she's getting lip liner tattooed right?
(right)

Check out the hair flippin' Fabios! lol

Loved her updo! (left)


Cool Cuts (right)

One of the most beautiful heads of hair at Ms. Jessie's was actually on a Mr. lol.

Look at this adorable Asian Dreddy man! Damn right I got him to shake those locs for me!

Some of the cool, wild and crazy hair!

Look @ this hairshow cutie Tiara!! Her style is sick and I've never seen orange hair look so good, not to mention she was super cool!

And last but not least ladies (sorry whoever this is for using your head as an example, lol), This is exactly why we can not bleach and relax our hair... See that hole in her hair? And the fact that its all over her shirt? Her hair was breaking in front of my very eyes... I wonder how long before all of that hair is on her shirt?

Relaxers Vs. Naturals IV: Stop the Hate; Remember the Truth

These days there's so much talk out there about who's truly natural, based on who's been natural their whole life, who has color treated hair, who doesn't use all organic/natural products, and/or whatever other bogus rules people seem to keep coming up with. Who died and made them the Natural Hair Gods who get to decide who is a natural hair puritan and is allowed into the curly gates anyway? Lol
As someone who's been through everything when it comes to hair, both physical and emotional, I've learned that there are lessons far more valuable behind being natural than shunning someone for straightening their hair occasionally or having color in their hair.

After natural hair blogging for a little over a year now, I see that a lot of the same discriminatory issues I see in the black community are occurring in the natural hair community; People discriminating against different hair types, those discriminating against other's choices with their hair. Deciding to return to being natural, and especially being introduced to the online natural hair community, really taught me the real reason behind why I was going natural this time around and the reason why I at this point felt that most other ethnic women should embrace their natural hair too: It's all about acceptance; Learning to accept yourself for who you really are, and accepting others for who they really are ...or who they really aren't ...or for whoever they choose to be. We were and still are discriminated against the most by other races, being the most different, so it really hurts me to see when we continue to break each other and ourselves down when we should be supporting each other and all the differences around us that make us the beautiful and most exotic ethnic people that we are. 

If a woman is natural and decides to straighten her hair for a week, what makes her any less natural? She is indeed natural, and obviously secure enough with herself to love wearing her natural hair and can be outgoing enough to try different hairstyles, straight ones included.

If a woman is natural and decides to color her hair, are her braid outs and twist outs now inadequate because she is color treated? When you're working with frizz and humidity or shrinkage or dryness, is she not still going through the same journey as you just because her hair is color treated? 

If a woman decides to return to or try using a relaxer, obviously she is no longer natural, but even so should we discriminate against her? What are her reasons behind relaxing, and why not learn something from her experience that you can pass on instead of joining the ignorance in bigotry?

If a woman is natural and wants to try or return to relaxer for a different hairstyle for a different period of time, its okay. Regardless of whatever chemical alterations she does to her hair, it will still continue to grow from her roots as glorious as our creator(s) intended and that, she will never be able to fight. There is nothing wrong with wanting to switch it up every once in a while and for the most part, she will more than likely go back to natural sooner than later. Learn from her reasons for relaxing her hair.

Now for example, if you took a moment to understand where the 4zzz (for hairtypers) is coming from, you would understand that a texturizer may be a better alternative for her lifestyle to keeping her hair healthier and from breaking and tangling since the curls are tight. Are you there in the morning to help her moisturize and style her hair? Now as we would all say there are other alternatives and why turn to chemicals, but if that's her choice, that's her choice.

Just for a hairstyle change... Cool, catch you back on the natural side!

Because she hates her natural hair... You should help her to learn that she should learn to appreciate her natural hair for what it is and to accept and love her true self, regardless of how she decides to wear her hair.  

We are no better than those who discriminate against US when we discriminate against each other.

The truth is we need to stop the hatred that goes on among us.

Let people be who they want to be and continue to be you for the right reasons. 

If natural is who you are, then let that natural show love and compassion for fellow people and understand that their journey may be different, but we all cross paths for a reason. Pass on the good word of being natural, self love and love and respect for all things and living beings, instead of passing on negativity and fueling the issues we're still struggling to overcome.

We should continue to promote health for the hair, the body and soul.

Going natural this last time around to me meant learning an even deeper love for myself and a deeper appreciation for the differences and similarities in others, and promoting that all people should do the same.
Don't be a Natural Hair Hitler.

The Beginning:

Relaxers Vs. Naturals III

Relaxers Vs. Naturals II

Relaxers Vs. Naturals

Conversation With Grandmother About Natural Hair

So last Saturday, I showed my grandmother this blog. She was impressed because she had no idea that there was a whole "natural movement" online. She was especially pleased because I told her that I would scour resources for folks with long locks to help her manage hers because she battles with dryness. Her locks are probably mid-back length (damn it, I should've taken a photo!) and she has jet black hair with some gray. I remember she used to dye her grays but I don't think she much cares anymore.

My grandmother mentioned how nice it was that women had access to proper tools to manage their hair. Apparently when she was growing up all she knew of were thin combs that broke upon in her hair and how tender-headed she was. She mentioned how ecstatic she was when the hair pic came out. I told her about combing while wet and with conditioner and she just shook her head and said, Nope, not my hair! Mine was thick and bushy and nothing will work. She was curious about how the different techniques used to maintain natural hair and the products. I'm going to be ordering her some Oyin products, because she had heard of them before and wanted to try their products but didn't know anyone who had.

Another interesting thing is that my grandmother thinks all black people have nappy hair and she's not using it in a negative. Nappy for her means that you have some black in you, no matter the curl pattern/texture. She was the one who always described my hair as "silky and nappy" which I used to frown at because I thought those were total opposites and I never saw my hair as nappy. I still don't necessarily care for the word, but I don't get upset if someone would use that term to me in a positive way.  I guess I'm not into "re-claiming" words that much (like the "n" word, it's always negative in my eyes)

As for my Nana's views on women who wear their hair natural she thinks that is the best way to be. She's been through it all with her hair and she said that when she started embracing her hair in the late 60s she had a new consciousness (she also found a religion that worked for her, becoming a pillar of the community, etc). She's Muslim so always covers her head but in the summer or for a more "casual" dress she will simply just wear her hair wrapped up with some locks out. She said that women who didn't wear their hair natural seemed to be a bit more buffoonish to her as she cannot take them seriously O__o.  My nana has no issues with straightening, and thinks that a flatiron is a novelty compared to a hot comb (lol) but she said she noticed that women who wear weaves all the time and are so into chemically straightening their hair are too superficial--they worry more about their appearance more then how they carry themselves and grow as a person. All and all an interesting talk.

What do older folks in your families say about natural hair?

Natural does not = Afro (Creating Texture)

This post is for all of the relaxed ladies thinking of going natural, and all of those transitioners who are still a little reluctant about going completely natural...
Time and time again i have recommended friends to go natural, and i have gotten a few to start transitioning for the long haul, some in weaves, and 2 clients who have transitioned from relaxed to texturized.


The ladies who are thinking of going completely natural always seem to have the same question, or what seems to be more of a fear.
"Do i have to wear an Afro? I don't want to wear an afro."
The answer is NO... And what's so bad about an Afro anyway?
It's unfortunate that so many women are uneducated about their natural hair and think that there is no versatility in it, especially for the more tightly curled textures. There are so many different styles and results you can have when you learn how to style your natural hair, and i have learned thats it's all about creating the texture you want.

Straight Hair: People relax to permanently create a straight texture. Natural women can straighten their hair by various methods, usually combined. You can flatiron, maxiglide, press/hot comb, roller set, silk wrap and/or blowdry to create a sleek, smooth, straight finish. If you try straightening your hair and you have a lot of damage and split ends, it will show and probably not get as straight as possible, or you might have straight hair and 'afro ends.' Your ends may not be used to being straight so try your best to smooth your ends by silkwrapping, wrapping, pincurling, finger smoothing, whatever you can, and if that doesn't work, your ends may be split and in need of a trim. Remember to ALWAYS use heat protector when using heat so as to avoid heat damage.
You should also make sure to do your best to preserve your style by wrapping/ pincurling at night so as to avoid needing to add heat to the hair again. 
*A smoothing and heat protecting serum is a great way to keep away frizz and add a bit of moisture and shine.

Wavy/Curly Hair: To create wavy and/or curly textures, women rely on sets. What do you mean by "sets?"
A set refers to creating a texture and setting it to last. You can set your hair by using a curling iron, doing a rollerset, flexirod set, perm rod set, straw set, bantu knot/ china bump set, twist set, braid set, or setting your own curl using certain products/gels to help preserve your own natural curl pattern (example: Using a product like Kinky Curly Curling Custard or Ecostyler gel).


Sets have memory and can last for a few days depending on how you care for them, resetting by re-twisting a twist-out or putting rollers back in the hair to sleep can help to prolong your set. Wet/damp setting usually lasts the longest/ holds the most memory. If you want a long lasting style (usually set to last for a week), set the hair wet and let dry. Your final result will be up to you so remember to set your hair in the direction you want your hair to lay (example: If you are doing a twist out and want curly bangs, make sure you do the front twists coming to the front so when you untwist them, they're already hanging forward). Make sure you also use the right products to help you achieve your desired look, like using holding and frizz reducing products, or only moisturizing products and/or light hold if you like a more 'free' look.


Remeber that while setting, you are creating the texture you want, so for bigger waves/ curls, do larger twists/braids/knots or use bigger rollers/rods and vice versa for tighter waves/curls.
 Some people would rather dry set, probably because they want to stretch the hair first to show more length or have a sleeker/ less textured look. Braid outs, twist outs, roller and rod sets can be done on blowdryed/flatironed/air dryed hair as well.
Take your time and experiement with your hair and you will learn that your options and results can be endless. With any hair type, remember that everyone has bad hair days so if something doesn't come out perfect, try again or try a different approach.

Afros: Yes, an afro is a texture some choose to create, as not all people have hair that stands up as an afro would. An afro is basically a bunch of separated curls that stand out from the head and usually defy gravity. 
Some people may tease their hair to create an afro texture, set their hair on small rollers/ rods or in small braids or twists and then comb/pic them out to separate the curls/texture and shape the afro. 
Some people want a fully rounded/picked out afro while others like textured afros, created with either their own afro/texture or a set texture.
Either way, know that our options are NOT limited!
Now remember, it's always going to be harder to have and keep the texture that is the most opposite from your own hair texture, and remember that as women with textured hair we are not the only ones who go through these issues. Just as it can be difficult and time consuming for straight Asian hair to be curled and stay curly, the same goes for our curly hair and trying to straighten and keep it straight.
Once you go natural, it's always easier when you embrace your natural texture and natural styling, as opposed to always wanting to straighten, as it will of course be the most time consuming and damaging. 
If your texture is not ideal to you or you just want to try a new look, learn how to create the texture that you like and don't forget that your hair's health should come first and foremost. 


Have fun experimenting with creating textures!

Relaxers Vs. Naturals III

The pro's and con's of being relaxed.

The pro's and con's of being natural.

I figured i could be a credible source to speak on this topic considering i have been both relaxed and natural several times in my life. Also, through being a hairstylist, i have learned a lot about hair and chemicals scientifically and also the way people feel about different hair types and textures. I feel like i understand both the natural and relaxed worlds for what they are and i am not biased to either side (okay... maybe a little)

That being said....to the lists!

RELAXED

Pro's of being Relaxed:

• Wearing straight hairstyles ~ We all know we can blowout and straighten our long curly hair easily, but what about those girls who wish they could stay natural and sport a Halle Berry cut? No? Is that only me? lol 
• Ease of styling. ~ For some... Depending on a person's texture, or just their preferences, they may find styling relaxed hair easier.
• Can cut down on styling time.
• Doesn't alarm "The MAN" or his brainwashed counterparts.

Cons of being Relaxed:

• Putting a chemical on your head every other month or so.... for years.
• Compromising the integrity of the hair ~ Weakening the hair with chemicals, causing damage and making it susceptible to further damage.
• Over-processed hair ~ Over processed hair can lead to a great deal of ailments, such as brittle, dry, thin, lifeless, breaking hair.
• Chemical burns ~ Some people suffer severely from chemicals burns, causing a peeling, raw and painful sore on the scalp. It can cause scalp dryness and may even burn the hair follicles in some areas, potentially resulting in a bald spot.
• Even those women who's hair seem to tolerate relaxer very well will experience thinning over years of relaxing.

NATURAL

Pro's of being Natural: 

• Not putting a chemical on your head to straighten your hair permanently and comply with the unrealistic beauty standards of today's society.
• Versatility ~ Having the versatility of wearing so many different styles. From braids, to twist- outs, to Afro puffs, to wash and go's, we can wear our hair in so many different styles in it's natural state, and if we want to wear our hair straight, we can just flatiron, roller set, blow dry, silk wrap or find other methods to stretch our hair.
• Don't have to worry about your hair getting wet in the rain, or on a vacation, or sweating your hair out in the club (if you go with a natural style) or at the gym or during any other extra curricular activities.
• Hair doesn't look thin and stringy when wet
• Fuller, thicker, stronger, longer growing hair if properly cared for.
• Hair looks fuller, healthier, and has a beautiful texture when worn straight, and can always just be washed to revert back to curly.

Con's of being Natural:

• Tangled hair, single and double strand knots.
• Shrinkage  and Frizz~ I think the same goes for both of these issues, some people don't mind the shrinkage and frizz associated with natural hair, while  a lot of women do. 
• Can be time consuming (But i would always take the time for myself =)
• Some women may have multiple textures and may need to learn how to properly style their hair to achieve their desired look. 

Now these are just my general observations from way too many hours of blogging and forums, along with some facts, that i have broken down into Pro's and Con's. I'm sure there are  some missing and i would be very interested in seeing what everyone thinks are the best and worst  :)

*Check out Relaxers Vs. Naturals  and Relaxers Vs. Naturals II  

How Natural Hair Is Percieved

I'm just going to make it plain: having natural hair doesn't make you the best person on the planet. It doesn't make you better then someone who relaxes or texturizes or simply wears their hair straight. It may look nice on you, but it doesn't make you a better person.

I know that people tend to make assumptions about women who sport the natural kinks and curls including the type of music we listen to, how deep and "Afro-centric" we are. Even our eating habits are looked at closely (we're vegetarians or vegans, apparently). While I don't want to get too much into my identity (check out my other blog for that) I will say that as a woman of color who sports her natural hair, my music choices are random, from M.I.A. and Santigold to Michael Jackson and Sting; although I'm college-educated with a broad vocabulary, I can be crude and curse like a sailor; while I do identify with being a black woman, I don't really embrace being afro-centric and man, do I love to eat hamburgers and the steak tacos from Chipotle. Just saying.

I have encountered some nasty women who happen to be natural. It was shocking to me, because I somehow expected more from them. But in the end, the woman with the long beautiful locks doesn't know how to talk to people. And the young lady sporting a TWA rolls her neck when talking to someone. The girl with the beautiful puff in my freshman Anthropologie class is being a smart-alleck to a well respected professor. It's just the way the people are and their beautiful kinks and curls don't hide their ugly attitudes.

Women with natural hair are awesome, don't get me wrong. When I see one of us walking around I wonder about their journey, about how they became confident enough to wear their hair the way it is. But I've let go of thinking that they were somehow more conscious or somehow more enlightened. My fellow co-blogger SP had relaxed hair and I always thought she was fly. And now that she is natural I am amazed at her journey and how she's redefining her awesomeness =)

I'm turning it over to you guys; what are some misconceptions about women with natural hair or relaxed hair? How were you treated when you were relaxed vs. being natural?

The "Natural" Treatment

I got my first relaxer at age 5 when i begged for straight hair like all the other little {white} girls in school. My hair was long and soft, but immediately my mother realized that she had made a mistake. Since then, i have gone from relaxed to natural and back on an average of every 4 - 5 years. The second time the hair salon relaxed my hair without her approval when i only wanted it pressed out for a wedding, and the third time was in the 7th grade when i wanted my hair relaxed after my best friend got hers done. 

Growing up, we moved a lot, so i went to about 4 different elementary schools and a separate preschool.  Although we moved a lot, we always lived in good neighborhoods and i always went to good schools, which here in NYC meant that i was probably one out of 3 black kids in my class. I've even been the only one. It seemed that no matter where i went i was going to be the "tolken" black person, so i made light of my differences. Because my mother has always been a single parent with 2 jobs, she didn't always have time to do my hair so i spent most of my childhood in box braids and twists. The other kids in my class used to love to pull on them and watch them spring back, making those 'boingy! boingy!' sounds. I didn't mind that because i too liked the springing effect my hair had, but the other kids weren't always as nice. I got called all kinds of names including Medusa and Buckwheat. You could imagine what this can do to the self esteem of a 10 year old girl, especially one who's mother's hair has always been full, relaxed and long.  My best friend also always had a full head of hair that was always past shoulder length, so you can understand why i wanted that relaxer again when i got to the  7th grade. I had started noticing boys and thought no one would like me with natural "nappy" hair.

When i decided to go natural in high school, i had started transition to natural hair with micro braids. I wanted to grow out my natural hair because i didn't like the way my relaxed hair looked so thin and lifeless. It was healthy because my mother used to roller set my hair for me every few days, but it was being permed bone straight and my hair is much too fine for that.  I am so happy that i decided to go natural in high school because it taught me a lot about people and how superficial they can be at an early age. When my hair was relaxed, i was the "it" girl in school because i was different. I went to a predominately black high school, which i chose to go to so i could be around more of my own people, which i later learned was a mistake. 

I went to school with black kids from Harlem, Brooklyn, and the Bronx who spoke slang and wore baggy jeans and wanted to fight all the time, and everything was new to me. I was the girl who showed up for 9th grade with a Stevie Wonder CD in her CD player and punk rock/ skater clothing. I definitely stood out for being different, but going natural was a whole other story. When i finally chopped off all my permed ends, i came back to school sporting a TWA pushed back with a headband. Girls made fun of me and guys didn't even want to talk to me or look at me anymore. I went from everybody wanting to know my name, to everybody acting like they didn't know me. I finally decided to texturize my hair just a little to help take down the frizz which also helped to define my curl pattern. When i went back to school with my curls instead of my afro, i remember one girl telling me that looked better and asking me why i hadn't been wearing my hair like that the whole time, to which my response was "I don't know." I realized that i then had become more acceptable.

I've been experiencing "the Natural treatment" my whole life.

From this i have learned so much about people, life, superficiality, and beauty images. I also now know why black women are so strong, because of all that we endure.

I am glad that i learned the lessons i did and i hope other young girls will learn to realize their hair is beautiful, no matter what anyone says.

Where's SP? @ Dorney park! lol

Sorry i have been gone for soooo long! I guess i kinda took an unexpected hiatus... even Curly Film Chick was looking for me, lol  Let me catch you up on where i've been :)

Last weekend while out with my friends at Dorney Park, I realized something very important. Our natural hair really does look good on us! Our hair really frames and accentuates our  bold features that make us beautiful black women.

So while @ Dorney Park, my 4 girlfriends and I decided to get on a few water rides before heading over to the big rides and I couldn't help but realize how beautiful we were all looking.

There i go, with my little puff! Lol 
My friend Z is transitioning from tex-laxed to natural, SB is tex-laxed, D is fully relaxed but wore the natural look with a natural phony pony, and Kia is transitioning from bone straight relaxed to tex-laxed. (From left to right)

My friend Kia has never worn a natural hairstyle as long as I've known her but seeing her face with her hair being big and puffy after coming out of the water, I loved the way she looked. The big hair complemented her face so well. 

My friend SB i've known since 3rd grade so we go back to the naturaL "beedy beeze" in the back school days,lol.
She has been relaxing her hair about 2 to 3 times a year since the 6th grade. She has always tex-laxed moreso than perming because her hair is really soft, but has always worn her hair straight. This year she started to wear her hair in more curly styles and let the texlaxed texture show and it is looking gorgeous.


Z also has the most beautiful silky 3B curls which is why i am sort of forcing her to transition back to natural. I can't wait to chop those permed ends off!


Look @ how beautiful everyone's faces stand out with the look of natural hair <3

Goodnight from PA!

Relaxers Vs. Naturals II

Relaxers

 vs.

  Naturals II

      

Im tired of hearing the different reasons why people don't/can't go natural and of course i've heard it all:

• "It takes too much time!"  ~   But they'll go sit in a salon for 3-5 hours just to have someone else wash and roller set/blow out their hair.

• "My hair is too nappy"    ~    Says who? And when was the last time you've even seen your natural hair?

• "I don't have good hair like yours. It's not a nice curly/wavy texture."   ~    Don't compare your hair to someone else's. Learn to love and care for your hair for what it is. Why wouldn't your own hair be good enough for you?

• "I'm not pretty enough to wear that kind of hair. I'll look like a boy."   ~   If you feel like you're not pretty enough, it's sad that straight hair is what makes you feel pretty. Maybe you should work on your self esteem and going natural might teach you a thing or two.There are so many different ways to wear natural hair, if you don't want to look like a boy, then wear feminine hairstyles.

• "I work in a corporate office, i can't go to work with my hair like that."   ~   That is not true. I can understand where you are coming from but i have seen a lot of women with natural hair and their hair always looks beautiful in twist-outs, braid outs, buns, and updo's. I can maybe understand not wanting to wear an afro into the office because that is just a lot of attention but there are many styling options with natural hair that many choose to ignore or not take the time to learn about.

• "My man doesn't like that." or "Men aren't going to want me."  ~  If a man doesn't want you because you have natural hair, he is not worth your time. If anyone isn't able to love you for you then why would you still even consider them?

Now these are just some of the many responses i've gotten when suggesting to someone that they should go natural and just the way i feel about them. 

I'M TIRED OF HEARING EXCUSES. 

People do whatever they want to do. People are conscious beings, and unless something is medically wrong with you, you make your own decisions and do whatever you want, even if you know it means consequences. 

And with this, people continue to deal with the consequences of being constantly chemically burned by relaxers, and burned with hot blowdryers, pressing combs, curling irons and flatirons just  to keep an excuse of why going natural is bad or not for them.

Now i know these things don't happen to everyone all the time, especially if they have the same hairstylist for a while or do their hair for themselves but these things do happen. 

I am in no way against perms, as i have been relaxed on and off an average of every 4 years of my life. 

What i will say is, please do not make excuses as to why you won't go natural, if you don't want one, just say you don't want one, there's no reasons to put naturals in a bad light. 

There are many great things to enjoy about being both relaxed and natural.

I know that as being relaxed isn't for everyone, some people think being natural isn't for them either. 

My thing is, you should love the hair you have and the hair you were born with, then if you decide you want to try some different style options, try a relaxer or texturizer.

 Try it because you want a change or to try something different, not because you hate your hair or its not good enough to be in its natural state.