Sunday Question: Styles You Still Haven't Mastered

I have a confession to make guys. After all these years of being natural, spending the past 3 on healthy hair care practices and great styling, there's one thing I fail at.

Twist outs.

If you check out our twist out tags, you'll notice a sea of beautiful posts from SP and this one little post from 2011 from me, which wasn't even all that. I SUCK at them and no matter how many techniques I've tried, I just can't. One of my hair goals of 2013 is to do a really great twist-out, although I'm kind of holding my breath for it. Meh.

So tell me, which natural hair style/technique have you yet to master?

Sunday Question Revamped: Dealing With Negative Hair Comments ON A DATE!

My first Sunday Question! Yay!! lol

While reading through the blog, I had came across one of Curly Film Chick's loved Sunday Questions about dealing with negative hair comments and it really triggered a few thoughts of my own, especially being I recently went through a situation I thought I should post about...

A few weeks ago, I met a new guy (uhg... single life) and decided he seemed nice enough to allow him to take me on a date. He was a black guy, of Carribean descent, so I was very taken aback when he decided to make a "joke" about my hair. He was wearing one of these hats:

And proceeded to tell me not only that my hair looked like his hat, but that I needed to give Oprah her hair back.

 -__-

Last I checked, I actually wouldn't mind having some hair like Oprah's, in any state... we all know Oprah has that good hair. lol

I'm new to the dating world, but I know thats definitely not okay, joke or not. I responded with my greatest amount of sarcasm "Oh, I'm sorry I'm black" and proceeded to do my best not to choke him out.

He was surprised that I didn't find it funny (dumb@$$) but I just didn't get where any one in their right mind would think that's okay...

 I mean I met him on the day I had this hairstyle (not the style that was judged) but I guess he didn't notice then that I had natural hair... and that I was black ... so I don't know what he was expecting. 

It doesn't even surprise me that it would be coming from a black man either...

What do you think ladies? Have you ever experienced such adversity on a date? Even when dating "your own kind"? 

Help!

Sunday Question: Your Curl Preference (Poll)

Last week's fluffy hair

In case you haven't been following YAIS for very long, it's a good time to mention that I prefer to rock big, poofy, undefined hair. I've been considering my reasons why and I think it's a combination of me being lazy (can't be bothered defining all the hair on my head sometimes) and adoring really big hair. That's just my style preference. However, I do notice that some naturals knock others for not defining their curls, because undefined hair looks "unkempt" or maybe it reminds people that a lot of us who are black (mixed or not) have a hair type that still isn't fully accepted. I mean, Solange gets crap for her so-called "uneven, picked out fro"and many seem to always comment on how the black kids of celebrities who leave their hair in the same manner. It seems we really have something to say about it! I like the defined curly look but as I said, big "fluffy" hair is a style preference. I'm wondering though, how many of us are strictly looking for curl definition and how often do some of us rock the undefined look? Vote in our poll at the top of the page and leave your comments below!

Sunday Question: Advice For The Someone Going Natural

"2nd Day" hair from a braid out on Friday

At work on Friday, I got into a small discussion with a co-worker about hair. She compliments a lot of my styles, especially when my hair is big and loose, and often says how she wishes her hair could do that.

"My hair is a brillo pad," she always says. "You have a good grade of hair, that's why you can wear it like that."

I'm always startled whenever someone mentions "good hair" because I don't believe in it, and also never know what to say to that. If I wasn't so thrown off, I would muster up a response explaining that there's no such thing as "good hair" and that you just need to learn how to take care of it; that it's true that people have a problem with perceptions of beauty and "kinky" hair is expected to be "tamed" instead of admired or "owned" as SP wrote the other day. Alas, I'm not that eloquent on the spot and I have difficulty in talking to people who are "set in their ways of thinking" (like the notion of "good" and "bad" hair) because I find it more beneficial to show them instead. Ironically I didn't realize that I've been showing my co-worker for a long time that natural hair is awesome through the styles I wear at work and as a weave-wearer with relaxed hair, she wanted to learn how to work with her natural hair as well. I finally picked up on it when on Friday she said that she had a stylist do a twist-out that came out horribly because her hair was just too dry, and that she went back to the weave but opted not to get her hair relaxed and used a hot comb instead to blend because she really doesn't want to process it anymore. It suddenly dawned upon me that all this time she was trying to get me to help her with her with her hair! So a little later that afternoon after being on gChat with SP agonizing over the situation (would it be offensive to tell recommend products, tell her that there's no such thing as bad hair etc - I've had a bad experience with this before!) I walked over to her and chatted with her about hair, then gave her SP's info for styling. She was relieved and happy for the chat - whew!

So I guess today's question is, What is your quickie advice for someone thinking of going natural for the first time?

Want to submit a "Sunday Question?" Email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Sunday Question: Your Fall Hairstyles

As evident by SP's Fall/Winter Hair Looks Post, we're already thinking about how we will look our greatest for Fall/Winter 2012. Last Fall for me, I was all about twisted styles but I think this time around I plan to wear my hair loose; either big fluffy braid outs or high buns. I'll probably find different ways to pin my hair using accessories. I've decided to have some more fun with my hair and try and get creative with these loose styles. A new color might be upon us (LOL) but not before I get my hair back in shape. I've been doing plenty of search and destroys to rid the single-strand-knots that are inevitable with too many wash-and-gos.

How will you wear your hair for Fall 2012? What new styles will you try?

Have a Sunday Question you'd like to ask? Email us at yais(dot)nyc (at) gmail(dot)com!

Sunday Question: Your Hair As a Kid

Looking back at old pictures, I noticed that for ages 2 and younger I had a couple of hairstyles on rotation. One was where my hair was finger curled using water (and probably some sort of hair lotion) and another was "barrett bangs" where my bangs were braided or twisted and clipped with a barrett. 

I was born with a head full of hair; there's this picture of me when I was two where my father thought it was a great idea to capture my mother combing it out while I'm clearly crying my eyes out - but my hair  is a big fro. I hope to keep the picture buried in the archives LOL!

Anyway YAIS readers, how was your hair styled as a kid? Did you have a bunch of hair adorned with bows and barretts? Let us know! And if you'd like us to post your childhood hairstyles, send to us at yais.nyc@gmail.com

Sunday Question: How Many Is Too Many

I always hear men wonder aloud why women have so many products; why can't we have one shampoo and just one conditioner like they *allegedly* do? I realize I alternate shampoos, conditioners, stylers and hairstyles all the time, and that's why I need the amount of products I have. I don't think I'm a product junkie - mostly because I'm a bit lazy and indecisive - but I do buy products on a whim. I've made a list of the staple amount of products I feel I should have:

2 Cleansers at a time: a sulfate-free one for frequent use, another for clarifying
2-3 Conditioners: A Deep conditioner, a leave-in, and a rinse-out (most likely a cheapy)
3-4 Stylers: There are creams, gels and serums that fit different hair styling needs.
Total: 6 - 9 Products 

I actually don't think this is a lot. My bathroom does not look like the hair section at a drugstore aisle LOL. Of course, this isn't a dig at PJs, in fact I know of one that many of you know *cough SP cough* but I digress...

What do you guys think? How many is too many hair products?

Sunday Question: Talking Hair With Non-Curlies

We're getting back to normal here with posting, it's been such a busy summer! Lately I've been having fun talking hair with non-naturals and non-curlies and it's a nice bonding experience. One of my closes friends is Mexican-American with thick, jet black straight hair and we've been sharing our hair routines and beauty secrets which has been fun for me. Turns out we both adore TreSemme Conditioners and I've gotten her into flexi-rods. We even made a trip to a beauty supply store exploring hair products! Of course I love talking to other naturals/curlies about hair stuff, but it's nice to share moments with others without being looked at like a weirdo. My friend and I recognize our vast hair differences and embrace it pretty well.

So my question to YAIS: Do you talk hair with non-curlies/non-naturals? Is it a positive experience for you?

Sunday Question: Poll - Do You Have a Strict Hair Routine?

I'm actually leaving this as open-ended as possible today and invite you all to participate in our latest poll: Do you have a strict hair routine? Why or why not? Vote in our poll at the top of the page and let us know your thoughts!

Sunday Questions: Favorite Conditioner to De-Tangle With

Folks who are growing out their hair beware: de-tangling is quite the project. I was de-tangling my hair with Ouidad Climate Control Conditioner and not only did it take me about half an hour to do my whole head carefully, I used a couple of handfuls of an expensive conditioner. Don't get me wrong this conditioner works well for me, but I have a few cheaper alternatives I could've used like the Panetene Pro-V Dry to Moisturizing Conditioner among others. My favorite though is still Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. Tangles always seem to just melt away, it's cheap to buy, and easily accessible (although I don't have this on hand at the moment).

So YAIS readers, what is your favorite conditioner to de-tangle with? 

Have a Sunday question? Send us an email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Sunday Question: Your Natural Hair at the Beach

This coming week is my birthday and I'm off to Virginia Beach! I can't wait to get out of NYC for a bit and spend some time with my sister, her boyfriend and my fiance, and we even like each other enough to be driving down there together - road trip/double date should be fun!

It's not just beach/vacation time for me, I know many naturals are headed off to great places like the Caribbean, and wonder what we should be doing with our hair. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine posted a hair emergency on Facebook because she's heading to the Bahamas and wants to know what she can do to manage her hair quick and easy. Some people suggested a weave but since I've never worn a one I could only tell her what I planned to do for my beach excursions: pack shampoo, conditioner and an oil and be on your way with braid outs, twist outs, bantu-knots and wash-and-gos! I'm not sure exactly which I'll be rocking down in Virginia, but I know those are my options (and trust I will still be wearing a sun hat and sunscreen!)

 But tell me, what's your natural hair going to look like for your time a la playa (at the beach)?

Have a Sunday question? Send us an email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Sunday Question: The Hair Tool You Can't Live Without

Earlier this week at work, I walked into the bathroom to find a co-worker at the sink fussing over her hair. She randomly started telling me that she cannot live without her blowdryer, and she hoped that someone in the office had a spare one so she could salvage a bad hair day. I couldn't help but think about what hair tool I couldn't be without: bobby pins. I lose them so easily and find them in the strangest places, but I always try to have a few on me. In some cases it can make or break a style or I can quickly conjure up a new one whenever there's a bit of a hair mishap.

So tell us, is it your ponytail holder? Your denman brush or wide tooth comb? What's the hair tool you can't live without?

Have a Sunday question? Send us an email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Sunday Question: Justifying Style Choices

I'm sure many of you who've been rocking natural hair for a bit have witnessed some of the divisions the community has created; some believe you aren't natural if you color your hair, straighten it often, wear roller sets, etc. I remember being startled once by a woman on the train who asked how long had I been natural prior to coloring my hair. I told her I was still natural and she insisted that since I colored my hair I wasn't. I didn't have all the time in the world to explain to her why I felt I was still natural, but I'll admit I felt compelled to do so, especially since she was newly natural and seemed disappointed.

Then, there are those of us who rock twist-outs, braids outs, fros, wash-n-gos, locks, and other natural styles and are questioned by others about "the whole natural thing." One time, a cousin told me that while my hair is cute, why didn't I do the "wet" look when it comes to showing off my curls. I wanted to explain to her that I liked big, semi-defined hair because it felt more me, but then I was insulted because I would never say to her why was she always wearing her beloved Remy hair.

With warm weather comes more BBQs and other gatherings and your hair might be the topic of discussion by both naturals and non-naturals a like so tell us; Have you ever had to justify your style choices?

How Much is Too Much?

When I first started caring for my hair, my favorite product was Deva Care One Condition. I could wax poetic about how amazing this conditioner is, from the sweet orange smell to the luxurious hydration my hair received but the price for my broke behind was pushing twenty dollars. For one amazing conditioner. Picture me, a junior in college whose main source of income was from a part-time paid internship that was supposed to also cover rent and other expenses; I thought I was fancy indulging myself on this bottle that I tried to make streeeetch! I only bought the conditioner twice and it's still very much missed. But even now with some disposable income I'm not sure I could ever make this purchase again, unless it was some sort of deal or was on sale. It appears that my cap for hair products is no more than $12 for a single item these days, and even that I consider a splurge. I wanted to buy some Jessicurl products recently but I'll admit I just couldn't make the purchase because $14-$15 per product seemed like a stretch. I've mentioned before that I've found cheaper alternatives but I do miss my brands.

What's the most you'd spend on a single hair product YAIS readers? How much is too much? 

If you have a Sunday Question you'd like us to post, send us an email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Sunday Question: Natural Hair Frustrations

As beautiful and wondrous our textures can be, there are some tears. I remember when I was younger and my mother was combing my hair and it suddenly snapped in half; I was both amused and mortified that my strands could fight back like that. But there are days when I try to get my hair to do something and it's not having it. It's like oh, you want to try and get a smooth ponytail? Oh, you trying to avoid the frizz? Wait, you tryna put what on me?

Nope! Not gonna happen! Not today - all that summed up by Oprah ^^

You're not alone in your frustrations with your natural hair. Although I embrace my frizz I do wish I could effortlessly pull of a sleek look, or not have to worry too much about shrinkage when I want to show my hair length. So what are your natural hair frustrations?

Sunday's Question: Your Natural Starter Kit

It always brings a smile to my face whenever someone with "textured" hair asks me questions about products, techniques, styling and the like. I remember when I first became interested in my hair I had no one to talk to (sadface). But now I have cousins, siblings, and friends who I can talk products and such with.

But sometimes it gets overwhelming because of all the information out here; should they use shampoo? Should they stick to organic products? What are the benefits of mixing their own spritz? How much does this conditioner costs? I don't want to turn them off from enjoying their texture!

So naturals and textured people, if you were to make a "starter kit" for your sister/cousin/mother/grandmother/aunt/uncle/boyfriend/friend, what would you put in it and why? It doesn't have to be just products either!

If you have a Sunday Question you'd like us to post, send us an email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Sunday Question: Product You Could Never Abandon

Last week, SP straightened and trimmed my hair. Of course it came out really nice because she knows what she's doing - and I went back to curly today with no issues. She used Herbal Essence Hello Hydration to deep condition my hair; the slip, the shine and the softness of my hair made me realize that I've really missed this product and I'm kicking myself for not using it anymore. I don't even remember why! I never had any complaints or issues with it but I just stopped buying it. Cursed me, I plan to restock at some point this week!

I know a lot of us rotate our products but you always have your "tried and true." So which product could you never abandon? Is it a shampoo, a conditioner, or styler? Let us know!

If you have a Sunday Question you'd like us to post, send us an email at yais.nyc@gmail.com!

Sunday's Question: Full Product Lines

Happy Sunday everyone!

Sauve. TreSemme. SheaMoisture. Jessicurl. There are so many product lines naturals can choose from. Some of us mix and match, but I know there are a few of you out there who are devoted to an entire product line; the shampoo, conditioner and the styler. I have yet to devote myself to an entire line, but I do toy with the idea of using only SheaMoisture products to see if I'll get what I need.

So tell us folks; Are you devoted to a full product line, or thinking about doing so?

Have a thought/question for Sundays? email us at yais.nyc@gmail.com or tweet it!

Sunday's Question: Styling Requests

Lately I've been going crazy looking at hairstyles to draw inspiration for my up-coming nuptials in July. It's been "hinted" that I should wear a straightened style, partly to show off the length of my hair and then because it's a special occasion. I personally don't subscribe to notions that straight hair equals "fancy" or "professional" and have an interest in wearing a natural style. My fiance doesn't have a particular request for that day, but he has made requests in the past. In college he liked when my hair was in twists and lately he's been liking my hair buns.

But, what if you were a bridesmaid in my wedding and I told you that I prefer you to straighten or wear a fro; let's say both those styles were not ones you wear on the norm and you have strong convictions about both - would you still do it? Or would you tell me that this style wouldn't work for you?
Let me know!

Sunday's Question: Is Your Hair Nappy?

Natural hair enthusiasts! It's been too long and for that, we apologize. SP has been busy with fashion week and will update us all on her experiences soon, and work and personal matters has kept me away. Let's just jump back in, like friends who haven't seen each other in a while but can vibe again as if a day hasn't passed!

Let's start the week off with discussing the word "nappy." It's a word used to described the highly textured strands of hair belonging to people of African descent, and was generally negative to describe hair that is "unkempt" and "dirty." The Natural Movement has taken the term and made the word something to embrace positively. But I'll admit, I'm not fully on board with it. I don't describe my hair as nappy and wouldn't like it if others referred to it as such; when I was younger my grandmother used to refer to my hair texture as "silky naps" because to her, nappy hair meant you had "black people's hair" no matter what you were mixed with, but I disagree with hair - let alone a black person's hair - should be described as nappy. I use terms like "highly textured" "coily," "curly" and "tightly curled" but that's just me. If a natural refers to their hair as "nappy" with pride, I would never tell them they are wrong to do so.

So what about you guys? Do you refer to your hair as nappy? Is there anything wrong with the term? Feel free to vote in our poll and drop us a comment; I'm interested in your thoughts!