Friday, December 9, 2011

Why is MY natural hair good enough for you but yours isn't?

This may sound strange, but the title from this post stemmed from a few compliments, that I sort of read as an insult...
So for Turkey-day (sorry, don't really celebrate, just eat) I wore my hair in a twist out Fro because I didnt have time to really style my twist out. It came out pretty cute and all I did was untwist my 6 flat twist and finger comb them, then pulled in different directions to fill in any spaces as I ran out the door with my potluck contributions...
Everyone was raving about how good my hair looked, cute, curly, soft and healthy and how they wished they could wear their hair like mine. The crazy thing is, the people who were raving about my hair the most, that being my cousin and my mother, are both natural now too with gorgeous hair and neither ever wear their hair out. They both complimment my styles and tell me when they favor a certain style over another, but when it comes to their own natural hair, they just aren't comfortable with it until it gets longer. I really just don't get it.
Now, to give them the benefit of the doubt, they are both 30+ and have been relaxed since their teens up until about a year or 2 ago (thanks to me putting the natural bug in their ears).  I understand them being used to themselves with long straight hair, but my mother has had short hair before, my cousin never has... What's wrong with trying something new for a change anyway? My mother usually wears her hair in a bun everyday, my cousin's in a wet and wavy weave ponytail everyday (their transitioning styles basically).
I guess where my offense comes in is when I'm complimented so much on my hair, but you have the same, if not nicer hair on your head that you won't do anything with but want to question the hell out of me about my hair.
(My little cousin sporting a cute bow-tied scarf around her TWA, none other than Moi, and my mother with her gorgeus natural hair flatironed)
Friends & Family: Omg! I love your hair! What did you do to it? I love those curls and its so soft! What do you use? 
Me: Oh thanks! This is a twist out i just raked my fingers through and hoped to not look crazy, lol. You can check the blog for info and tips and everthing else too.
Friends & Family: Yeah I love the blog but Wow, your hair, i really love it. So cute, beautiful.
Me: Why don't you try it? You're natural now, and you can do this, 2 strand twists are easy and your hair is longer than mine and beautiful. You can even have the curls without the afro look if you want...
Friends & Family: No..uumm..yeahhh seeee....nah...i don't ... uuh..think...uuhhh...  yeah not yet... when it gets longer... but it looks good on you though...
Me: :::silence::: -__-

It just makes me feel like if long hair is all a lot of people are really comfortable with, how do they truly feel about my hair? Is it more like "it's beautiful...but its short"or "it's so short... but its cute"? Am I just supposed to wear all the cute short hair for everybody but its not good enough for anyone else? I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it, but I can't help but to feel a certain way... or maybe I should just be happy that I have enough confidence to love my hair at any length...

What do you think? Do any of you ever go through situations like these where some compliments leave you to feel anything but complimented?


  1. Confidence. Not all naturals have the confidence to work what God had given them naturally. The very friend that convinced me to go natural told me (once I was 6 months into TWA stage) that she didn't like looking so 'ethnic'. She wears her hair straightened at all times- I think her hubby hated the kinky styles (although she loved them). I personally went in whole hog! (yeah I'm country- lol) To each his/her own, I guess.

  2. Your hair looks great! What product did you use on the twists?


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