Why is MY natural hair good enough for you but yours isn't?

This may sound strange, but the title from this post stemmed from a few compliments, that I sort of read as an insult...
So for Turkey-day (sorry, don't really celebrate, just eat) I wore my hair in a twist out Fro because I didnt have time to really style my twist out. It came out pretty cute and all I did was untwist my 6 flat twist and finger comb them, then pulled in different directions to fill in any spaces as I ran out the door with my potluck contributions...
Everyone was raving about how good my hair looked, cute, curly, soft and healthy and how they wished they could wear their hair like mine. The crazy thing is, the people who were raving about my hair the most, that being my cousin and my mother, are both natural now too with gorgeous hair and neither ever wear their hair out. They both complimment my styles and tell me when they favor a certain style over another, but when it comes to their own natural hair, they just aren't comfortable with it until it gets longer. I really just don't get it.

Now, to give them the benefit of the doubt, they are both 30+ and have been relaxed since their teens up until about a year or 2 ago (thanks to me putting the natural bug in their ears).  I understand them being used to themselves with long straight hair, but my mother has had short hair before, my cousin never has... What's wrong with trying something new for a change anyway? My mother usually wears her hair in a bun everyday, my cousin's in a wet and wavy weave ponytail everyday (their transitioning styles basically).

I guess where my offense comes in is when I'm complimented so much on my hair, but you have the same, if not nicer hair on your head that you won't do anything with but want to question the hell out of me about my hair.

(My little cousin sporting a cute bow-tied scarf around her TWA, none other than Moi, and my mother with her gorgeus natural hair flatironed)

Friends & Family: Omg! I love your hair! What did you do to it? I love those curls and its so soft! What do you use? 

Me: Oh thanks! This is a twist out i just raked my fingers through and hoped to not look crazy, lol. You can check the blog for info and tips and everthing else too.

Friends & Family: Yeah I love the blog but Wow, your hair, i really love it. So cute, beautiful.

Me: Why don't you try it? You're natural now, and you can do this, 2 strand twists are easy and your hair is longer than mine and beautiful. You can even have the curls without the afro look if you want...

Friends & Family: No..uumm..yeahhh seeee....nah...i don't ... uuh..think...uuhhh...  yeah not yet... when it gets longer... but it looks good on you though...
Me: :::silence::: -__-

It just makes me feel like if long hair is all a lot of people are really comfortable with, how do they truly feel about my hair? Is it more like "it's beautiful...but its short"or "it's so short... but its cute"? Am I just supposed to wear all the cute short hair for everybody but its not good enough for anyone else? I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it, but I can't help but to feel a certain way... or maybe I should just be happy that I have enough confidence to love my hair at any length...

What do you think? Do any of you ever go through situations like these where some compliments leave you to feel anything but complimented?

Beyonce's Natural Hair

Beyonce, our biggest star since Michael Jackson. So just as everyone was all up in his business, everyone is in hers as well. We all love her for her amazing talent, captivating her audience by first glance and note, her moves like Jagger, and let's not forget all the amazing Lace Front Wigs that come with her (like she's "Weaving Fun Beyonce"). It's funny because I'm really not one to be starstruck or worship celebrities, but upon entering the online natural hair community, aside from Solange seeming to be the first black woman to go through a real hair journey in the Media, everyone wants to know if Beyonce is natural and what is her hair texture!

I've seen people with their own Fotki albums arguing Beyonce's hair and texture. A lot of people argued that she had beautiful, loose wavy curls that look pretty much like her weaves because she was "creole", while other's argued that if her sister's hair was tighter and coarser, then she must have that hair too. Both of these statements, as a professional hairstylist I can say are not true. Being a particular race does not ensure you a certain texture , nor does the fact that 2 people with the same exact parents would have the same exact hair. Prime example, I, even with a mulatto parent do not have any particular "mulatto defining" hair, and Curly Film Chick and her sister share the same 2 parents and their hair textures and curl patterns are completely different, though equally beautiful. Another thing we can not forget is how amazing weaves can be. Weaves are supposed to and should be installed to look natural, so there is also possibility that the hair we've been thinking is her natural hair, has been somehow enhanced with tracks or is a weave.

After watching her video "I Was Here" Live @ the Roseland it bought back the thoughts of what her natural hair was like, seeing her hair as a child. My conclusion? Well....
Beyonce definitely has hair of her own. I think she's also making a little too much money to be caught out there bald headed under a weave... even Jay would tell her to take care of that I'd think, lol.
Do I believe she has some length?
Yes, and she seems to also go through phases of being colored or growing her natural color out.
Do you think she has some sort of relaxer or texturizer?
It's hard to say, being that I've never seen or touched her hair or even have been up close to it. From photos, I would say I believe she has a texturizer. Tighter waves and curls can be seen at her root/natural hair line, then going into a looser curl/wave. In the video, as a child, her hair appears very similar, but it's not impossible for her to have had a texturizer as a child as well. If she is fully natural, she could be doing sets, braid outs, and twist outs to achieve these curly/wavy looks, since her roots do appear much tighter. Even in the photo with her dark hair pulled back, you can see the wave pattern is smaller than that of a loose wave or curl.
Do you think the natural looks are weaves or her hair? 
I believe she is wearing her natural hair out, even if she adds tracks for fullness and/or length. Regardless of anything, this gorgeous woman does appear to have a beautiful head of hair of her own.

(Now remember, these are my opinions from a hair stylist's stand point and I am not implying that any of my statements are particularly factual)

What do you all think of Beyonce's natural hair? 

***UPDATE***

I came across this photo on the web the other day, a throwback of Beyonce sporting a natural look. Look at those tight waves at her roots... I think it's safe to say her and Solange most likely have the same or a similar texure.

Protective Styling Vs. Hands In Hair Syndrome!

And this time, Protective styling won! Lol
For someone who is trying to achieve great lengths, I may have worse case of Hands In Hair Syndrome ever!!! Besides the fact that I rarely wear the same style from one day to the next, If that style is out, I definitely have my fingers dippin' in it. Even if it is up, once I get home and take out whatever pins, banana clips or whatever types of hair constrictors I'm using, it's one on one time, hands to strands all over again. Finally, since weaving my hair in the summer I decided to protective style again to give my hair a little break. I weaved it up again, this time wearing a straight weave though since it's winter and my hair will stay straight... and even decided to do a video of how I do my own weave, kind of start to finish. I didn't post it on YAIS' YouTube, I posted it on my personal one since it's not much advice for natural hair, but it's definitely a great way to protective style for naturals. So without further ado...

Enjoy! And stay tuned to learn about how I care for my hair when it's in a weave :)

Hair Product List: Cool Weather Edition

It's December folks, and time to address and assess hair needs for the season. I plan to wash my hair twice a week and mainly stay with protective styles, such as buns my new favorite go to style, the Side Braid. I also want to concentrate more on preserving my hair and growth because I have a goal to be MBL (Mid-Back Length) by my birthday in May 2012--is it possible? Guess we'll see...

Now that I have a better understanding of my hair and what works for me, I'm going back to what I know for the Northeast winters. Behold, my list of products that I hope to get me through the season; some may be recognizable to you because I have reviewed them before:

Cleansers:
Jessicurl Hair Cleansing Cream
CURLS Pure Curls Clarifying Shampoo
SheaMoisture Moisture Retention Shampoo


Conditioners:
TRESemme Naturals Silicone Free Conditioner
Sauve Naturals Conditioner
Jessicurl Weekly Deep Conditioner
Henna 'N' Placenta Hair Olive Oil*

Stylers:
EcoStyler Gel
Jane Carter Solutions Wrap N Roll**
SheaMoisture Hair Milk
Burt's Bees Avocado Butter

*I recently tried this and really like it. It's cheap and easy to find, and gives my strands an extra boost of moisture. It's also a great to de-tangle with. 
**Jane Carter Wrap N Roll, which I originally wasn't sure about, has won me over. It's great for dry styling and setting, particularly for bantu-knots. It's a decent leave-in as well

I'm also on a quest to find a great hat for my hair. I love hats and scarves and would love to cover my head in style! What's on your hair shopping list for the winter?

My New Go To Styles: Buns and Side-Braids

These days, I've been trying to find hair styles that are easy to throw together in the mornings before work and to easily travel with while out of town (I just came back from Tampa and New England, and it looks like 2012 will be travel-heavy as well). I've been testing a couple of looks out and so far my favorites are Buns and Side-Braids.

I know you're thinking a bun isn't a really big deal. But it is for me. I was never really into buns, but now I love them and have already made a case as to why they are awesome. I really loved this bun I did yesterday when going uptown to Harlem to see my Nana - it was full, shiny and secured. I simply used Jane Carter Wrap and Roll to create this bun with a side-part, and secured it with a pin.

I think the "side bun" is officially becoming my signature by the way...

Next up we have the Side-Braid. It's also a style that is very simple and easy to do on wet or dry hair. It's actually great on wet hair because it will stretch your hair out really well. You need a lot of bobby-pins while gathering your hair to the side of your choosing, and then a pin to hold the place of where you want the braid. Start braiding as smoothly as you possibly can, and secure with a hair-tie of some sort.

This style takes me about 5 minutes. I also realized that I prefer a textured look with this style, so I tend to do it right after I wash my hair, or after an old braid out.

I've worn both these styles to work and I think they are very acceptable for those of us who may work in conservative environments. To keep them from being boring rock accessories such as earrings or headbands, which can be as "quiet" or as "loud" as you want. Hope you all like!

Intro Tips For Grocery Shopping and Cooking (for the Young, Natural and Busy)

We talk a lot about hair here at YAIS, but this is also a blog for the twenty-somethings who are navigating adulthood. It can be really rough sometimes and although we are "adults"  we do need some guidance and life lessons, especially in time management, how to to deal with emotional issues, etc. For those of us who graduated high school and work or have recently finished college (like myself) we have been thrust into the "real world" and expected to fend for ourselves-- the big question is how? But it isn't all bad, if you have direction and some resources to help you out! First, let me share a picture of a recent cooking experiment SP and I had a couple of weeks ago. We made a garlicy alfredo sauce over Angel Hair pasta and spinach with garlic bread and some wine--it was a quick and delicious meal!

Our tasty pasta dinner

Cooking for oneself is a crucial skill which doesn't require culinary expertise, just an area to make your food. I'm talking about everyday eating, with food you can afford and the time set aside to cook it.  At one point I was taking a full schedule of classes, working two internships and commuting about 4 hours daily and I kept my eating out to a minimum - partly because I was a broke college student, but also because I like cooking. I wasn't preparing gourmet meals and shopping at Whole Foods, but I made rice, simple stews, and casseroles. These days I work full-time and work on projects on the side; it seems to me that I really only have one day of "rest" and that varies but my meals come from home on average 6 days out of the week; most of my meals take less than an hour to make. I even bring lunch from home, which is a combination of left overs and sandwiches. What helps me cook is basing my meals off of what I have in the house, which comes down to buying what I normally eat. I started keeping a log to help with grocery shopping. Here is a screenshot of my Google doc that lists the "staples" I try to have:

I don't always have everything on this list, and this may be anal for some, but it really helps me. (And I'm sure you're wondering what I make using this list, recipes to come!) I should mention that right now I don't cook with meat: I was a vegetarian for about 9 months after Turkey Day '10, then went "Pescatarian" (one who eats fish) and now I eat meat maybe once every couple of months, but have opted not to cook with it because it saves money and has made me more creative with cooking. It's easy to use a search engine for an idea or use resources from blogs and cooking sites. My two personal favorites at the moment are Poor Girl Eats Well and Cheap, Healthy Good. I've adapted recipes to my taste and what I have in the kitchen and they use ingredients that are easily attainable.

Eating out all the time really adds up quickly and if you're "frugal" like me, money disappearing like that can upset you. But if you're busy working, raising small children and/or going to school cooking may not be something you can do all the time and that's understandable. If you can boil a pot of water, cooking will be fine with practice. Taking some time to make sure that you eat and can take care of yourself is truly important however, and your body (and wallet) will definitely thank you for it later.

From Essence: The Natural Hair Blogger's Holiday Gift Guide

If you're a natural who celebrates the holidays, it's a great time to ask for all things hair-related! I came across this gift guide from Essence  from some of our favorite natural hair bloggers. Some of my favorite picks are the Natural Hair Love Affair Hair Emergency Kit, The Hair Therapy Wrap, The Science of Black Hair (I really need this book!) and Satin Pillow Cases. Nothing fancy, but items I would love to have.

Check the list out and let us know which ones you would love to have!